Some years ago I found a box of old letters, one of which was written on a steamship going to Alaska, the writter, expressed his regrets for having stolen money for the fare, and the promise to repay, the letters was from the 1930's and I wonder yet if indeed repayment was made and just what story was left untold.
So here goes, letters in a trunk

Dear Mr Keeley;

You don't know me, but I met your son today, hitch-hiking in Lone Pine California. He told me he was headed for Yosemite, but alas as it is near Thanksgiving, Yosemite is snowed in, I recommended he try Scotty's Castle in Death Valley.
He was in good health and I gave him a few dollars for food, he seems to be a good boy, I wish him well.

Yours Truly
C. Manson

Dear Mrs Cooper:

This letter is to inform you that your light bill is now 60 days past due, if payment is not received by 5 O'clock Friday, your power will be turned off......The letter was unopened, I guess she could not see to read it.

Dear Mrs Aiello,

We are aware that you feel your stay in the New Westminster Hospital was unpleasent and that you were used by the C.I.A. for mind-contol testing.

You must understand that the C.I.A. does not operate in a friendly country, such as Canada, nor would we test LSD on uninformed people with mental health issues.

Perhaps it would be best if you did not repeat your story to others least they think you in need of more care.

Yours Truly
Geo. Bush

To whom it may concern,
Today as i awaited my daily visit from my well known friend who we will call Mr. happy ,I saw a new car pull up and Mr.happy got into the car and now my days will be so long with out his visits which made the day pass so sweetly.For as the car pulled out a big semi crashed into the car now what shall i do?

My dear one true love,

I know it is your birthday soon, so I will be going into town to buy you a yellow ribbon for your hair, I must take a ride with a woman, because it is to far for me to walk, I just hope nothing happens while we are out, I would hate for you to get the wrong idea,

love you dearly
Your Mr happy

Dear Sweat Loved Won,

You are either on the bus or off the bus.

Yours,
KK

Dear to whom it may concern,
All these letters in a trunk seem to be covered in elephant snot. Please use another type of trunk.
signed, Concerned in Peoria

Dear Concerned,
That is not elephant snot. What you saw was ETA placenta contents. Did you get any on you? If so, have you noticed anything odd about yourself lately?
Sincerly,
Fox M.

Dear Fox M.

Do you mean I've been SLIMED by E.T???

Signed, even MORE concerned in Peoria

Dear "Even More Concerned",
Have you had any physical contact with anyone since touching the goop? If so, are they glowing? Are you glowing?
We need to know.
Signed,
Fox M.

Dear Fox M.

I have not had any physical contact with anyone since the sliming, only cyber contact. And the only folks I see glowing are Cheryl and Bumper, because they saw Arlo and Sarah recently.

To Whom it May Concern...
I saw Starchild glowing all the way from the edge. Dis you have contact with her or did she see Arlo too?

Signed,
FM

Dear FM,

I think Starchild is radioactive.

Signed, concerned more than ever.

Dear Concerned MTE,

Don't sweat it!!! The stuff wears off in 2 to 5 days. After that you'll observe a strong craving for Cheerios. This is not a permanent after effect, but you might want to stock up now so you'll be prepared. Oh, and by the way, what kind of first name is Fox anyway??? Sounds more like a last name or one of the those made up DJ names when their real name is Kevin Jones or Maury Willis.

signed,
Unperturbed, but willing to overlook it

Dear unpreturbed,
How did you know my real name is Kevin Jones? Are you spying on me?? Are you part of the CIA? Is that you parked in that black sedan across the street? Didn't you used to date Sculley?
Worried,
Kevin the Fox