ONCE UPON A TIME, we had to start the story this way so that some of the lessor wizards would know that indeed a story was being told. So let us begin

Once upon a time, long long ago and far far away, there lived a bear that not only ate the garbage that campers left behind, he started to read the newspapers they left behind as well. Now this may appear odd, but do not be disturbed by the fact that the bear was reading newspapers, many bears have this talent and they pass it down to their young, besides, most of the papers were days old and of little interest.
Old Don, for that was the bear's name, I think his mother saw Don Ho once and named her son after him, anyway Old Don was reading the paper one day when he discovered that,

there was a 1956 Chev for sell for only seventy-five dollars, now Old Don had always been a smart bear and he had saved all the tips he had gotten for having his picture taken with the tourist so the sevety-five dollars would be no problem. But how was old Don ever to get a driver's license?

He did not have a birth record nor even a social security number, What was Old Don to do? What would any of us do? Why, I will just fake it he said, He had found a wallet a couple of years ago with a diver's license in it, with a picture which in fact looked alot like old Don on a bad day, but could he live with the silly name of Larry? Well folks he said Yes indeed, Larry it is and Larry is a fine name, so folks this is the story of Larry the bear and his trip to New York City.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Nov 07, 2002 ---</FONT></center>

Larry-Don was a pretty smart bear.
In the woods, that is.....

ahh but that's the rub, kitty, he was a very clever bear in the woods but now he was headed North on I-81, leaving Tennessee and the hills behind him. With a stolen shell credit card, a six pack of bud and a meatball sub, Larry Bear, yea, Larry Bear was grooving to the tunes and headed north. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other reaching for his meatball sub, when in the rear view he saw a VW Microbus gaining fast.

it was a red microbus, and the driver, whose long silvery hair was flying out the window, slowed as he pulled up alongsid Larry Bear...

It was at that moment, right there in the night under the glare of the big green sign proclaiming the Virginia State Line, that Larry Bear learned that old tires heat up and expand due to high speed driving, it was there in the night with a meatball sub in his mouth that Larry Bear learned what a blow out at 70MPH was like.

Spining around and around the car travelled foward, Larry Bear, done all the right things, he put down the sub and picked a sold Bud, popoed the tab, and took a sip, or rather gulped the foam as it spread across his face. Larry watched, Larry waited, Larry took another drink and then it was over. The car stopped on the side of the road. Larry got out of the car, walked to the front right side and kicked the tire, for he had seen men do this several times before, the then, turned and faced the darkness and shouted to the top of his lungs, DAMN, for he had heard men do this before as well....
It was at that moment that Larry Bear discovered he could talk as well.

The microbus stopped and was backing up towards Larry as he tried to open the trunk.

Larry bear got thew spare tire out just as the microbus stopped in front of the Chev.

Out of the driver's door, stepped a huge man, and he came back to Larry and extended his huge right hand towards Larry saying, "Put her pal, that was the most excellent driving I have ever seen" the man paused looked at Larry Bear and then added, "You are a negro, I bet you are, a big black nude negro?"
Larry, looks back at him and replied, "I prefer the term Black, I am a Black Bear, I mean I am a balck man that is indeed bare, someone stole my clothes."
The stranger eyed Larry, and then said, "Well howdy, my name is Arnie Mac and I think I may have some clothes to fit you"
While Larry changes the flat tire, Arnie got him a pair of orange coveralls and a shirt.
"Here you buddy, a pair of orange pants and a yeller shirt" Arnie said as he handed the clothes to Larry. Larry was somewhat confused and asked, "Don't you mean Yellow".
Hell No, replied Arnie, I call that color Yeller because it's so loud.

So Larry and Arnie got the spare tire on and cleaned up a bit, then Larry the Bear, got into those orange coveralls and that yellow shirt and put on a fishing hat he had found in the back seat of the Chev. and he looked real good, real down home country, or in other words, he looked like a red neck.
Larry wanted to thank Arnie for all he had done and he invited him to join him for a beer at the next exit, Bristol Va.
They both stopped at a filling station and Larry went in with his stolen credit card and got the beer and some beef jerkey and one of them scratch and win lottery tickets.
Larry knew his chances were good, as Larry had been scratching himself for years and anything that required a scratch to win ought to be easy for him.