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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:13 am
  

Everybody made a mad dash toward the Blundercopters.

Larry, in a full sprint, looked over his shoulder and called back, "Joe! Hurry up! You're too slow!!"

"YOU try runnin' with a gallon of milk!" hollered Joe.

(Edited for spelling.)

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by P. Pittsburgh Joe on Aug 29, 2004 ---</FONT></center>


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 11:16 am
  

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So the Blundercopters finally took off with their precious human cargo, setting out on an inter-hemispheric journey that couldn't be beat. I won't bore you with the details of long high-speed helicopter flights, mid-air refuelings courtesy of all the latent Blunderites in the USAF (don't ask, don't tell!), or the silly things that Arlo and the passengers came up with to pass the time on board. Let's just say that you can only hear the story of the Massacree so many times before tempers grow a little short.

Just before it appeared that Joe and Larry were going to perform mayhem on the folkslinger using his own guitar, there came into view the skyline of New York. It looked a little bare without the Twin Towers, so Arlo broke into a fitting rendition of Amazing Grace, which quieted most of the passengers down. As the Blundercopters descended toward the East River Heliport, everyone could see that the City was geared up for something big. Now, they had to get ready to go through Customs and Homeland Security, no easy feat considering what they were carrying on board.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 5:17 pm
  

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As luck and fate would have it, the son of that famous airplane smelling guy from back in the 60's and 70's was working the Republican National Convention at Madison Square Garden as a blundercopter smeller. Needless to say there were a lot of faces on the blundercopter with that "I ate it" look. But as luck and fate would also have it, there turned out to be no need to ingest the collective stash on board after all, since the blundercopter smeller guy was working for the whitehouse, not the secret service, and he was trained to smell Lone Star beer and nose candy so he could tell which blundercopters were making a delivery for the president. The blundercopter was allowed to land on the roof of the garden,since the pilot happened to be sipping a Lone Star that the blundercopter smeller guy smelt, and out trotted a group of blunderites, led by Joe with a gallon of milk, all weilding shovels, rakes and implements of destruction. The secret service guys, seeing this, simply waved them through to the convention floor saying "You guys must be here to rake and shovel all that bullshit down there". Agnes (remember Agnes?) Said something about it being elephantshit, and not bullshit, but it didn't seem to matter. The blunderites were in!...........

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Aug 30, 2004 ---</FONT></center>


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 8:32 pm
  

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Now anyone familiar with Republican conventions knows that the attendees might just as well be cardboard likenesses of people or even just seats painted to look like people. There might have been a few Blacks or Asians, they being the ones whose ID's were oh so carefully scrutinized, but by and large it was an orderly crowd of cookie-cutter, neatly groomed white people that our intrepid heroes tried to blend into.

As they made their way towards the front row of seats, near the podium, another sniffer stopped them. "Not so fast, people. We have a special section for you guys, which we think should suit you fine," and he pointed to a section way in the back of the arena, away from everything else, in a corner, and consisting of just one long bench. They could barely see the sign above it, but they knew they had arrived: SECTION W.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:32 pm
  

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Well all the friends and the Folkslinger sat down on the bench feelin' a little out numbered. But then they noticed some non cookie cutter type people comin to join them on the bench, but when these people looked up at the sign they all kinda moved away from the Blunderites on the bench there. The Blunderites looked at each other quizically. (once again, is that a word?) Then the Folkslinger fumbled through his pockets and pulled out that black marker pen that he always carries for autograph signing, leaped up on the bench, reached up to the sign and wrote, That's group W !!! NOT Group DUBYA!!!
REMEMBER ALICE!!! And they all slid back on the bench and started offerin' Arlo and the friends all kinda neat badges and placards and stuff that said "See Ya George" and stuff like that. Then Levi with his keen eye noticed Mike M. discreatly slip into the journalists box. Then Cain got up to make his speech not knowing that Mike was nearby.
Then he mentioned Mike in a non flattering way and the cut-outs noticed Mike and started yelling at him "Four more Years!! Four more Years!!" (They just keep fallin' for it don't they!! They just can't seem to stop themselves givin' Mike great media exposure!!) Anyway Mike just started clappin' along then started singin' that song he'd sung when he led the march the day before... "Na Na Na Na .. Na Na Na Na .. Hey Heyyyy.. GOOD BYE...


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 9:47 am
  

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.......meanwhile, back at the whitehouse, the presidents lawyers were hard at work trying to obtain copyrights for all things "W", including benches.........


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:55 pm
  

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The first thing the President's White House lawyers were able to get a copyright on was the word "waffle," as in its usage to mean speaking evasively. This was easy to obtain because the President already had a virtual lock on the word. The lawyers were unable, however, to get the copyright for ALL usages of the word because it seemed that a certain large chain of breakfast restaurants in the South had a prior patent on it. Meanwhile, back at the convention, the Section W bench was becoming a hotbed of activity.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:07 pm
  

Larry answered his ringing cell phone and passed it across Row W to Joe. "It's your wife," said Larry.

"How's it going there?" asked Joe's wife.

"This is pure torture. One speaker after another praising Bush and trying to scare everybody about terrorism."

"Ugh. That sounds even worse than your company's client Christmas party."

"Honey," said Joe, "Nothing is worse than the company client Christmas party. What's up?"

"Just thought you'd like to know---I don't know what it means, but the TV cameras showed several kangaroos entering the convention site."

"WHAT????"

"The TV talking heads are acting like nothing happened," she continued. "It's like when the Janet Jackson thing happened at the Super Bowl."

After the conversation concluded, Joe relayed the information to his fellow Blunderites. Nobody said anything. It was clear that they were thinking the same thing. They were just in Australia. What had the governments of teh United States and Australia thought that the Blunderites had stumbled onto that would cause the Australian government to take Arlo into custody? It was agreed that Louise, the Blunderite most familiar with kangaroos, would search the site for the kangaroos.

She returned, looking shocked. "You guys aren't gonna believe this!" said Louise. "The kangaroos are being guarded."

"That's not shocking," said Larry.

"No, but this is. The kangaroos are being guarded by none other than Bush and Cheney themselves!!"

Row W let out a collective gasp. This was something big. Bush and Cheney don't even trust anybody but themselves to guard the kangaroos! Down below on the stage the Mailmen for Bush were gathered, leading cheers. "We've gotta put all this together and figure out what it means," said Levi.

Suddenly Arlo stood up and said, "I GOT IT!" and bounded down the stairs towards the stage with his guitar. The security guards let him go, believing he was part of the scheduled entertainment. Arlo stepped in front of the Mailmen for Bush and took the microphone, declaring, "Your attention, please! The President has launched a secret plan to replace all of the country's mailmen!"

A gasp went throughout the assembled throng. The security guards made a move toward Arlo, but he was quickly surrounded by the Mailmen for Bush, who formed a protective shield. The biggest Mailman for Bush said, "We'd like to hear what this hippie dude has to say!" The guards backed off.

Arlo continued, "He's got a secret deal with the Australian government! He's gonna replace all of the mailmen with kangaroos after the election!"

The crowd fell silent. The Mailmen for Bush shook their heads and stepped aside for the security guards.

"Don't you get it???" cried Arlo. "Kangaroos have pouches!!! They're natural mail carriers!" Then, looking toward Row W, Arlo said, "The kangaroos will be out on this stage any minute, thanks to my friends!"

"How are we gonna get at those kangaroos?" asked Mikey.

"I got an idea!" said Joe. "Bush and Cheney will on their way to Row W in about 10 seconds. Then the rest of you can run downstairs and free the kangaroos and take them to the stage."

"How can you be so sure?" asked Levi.

"Watch this," said Joe, confidently. He pulled his checkbook out of his pocket and tore out a check. It made a soft sounding rrrrrriiiiiiiipppppp.

Within ten seconds, Bush and Cheney came bounding up the steps toward Row W, saying in unison, "Is somebody making a campaign contribution??"

"Now!" whispered Joe. The Blunderites ran desparately down the steps, with Louise leading them to the kangaroos. The security guards began to descend on Arlo. Who will get to their destination first?

Stay tuned...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 7:10 am
  

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Well, really, it was no contest. The Security Guards were mostly fat, white, and male, not good candidates to outrun a bunch of Blunderites used to sprinting for the best seats at Arlo concerts. As Louise led them to the now unguarded kangaroos, it soon became clear why the roos were being guarded so carefully by Bush and Cheney. Not only did the animals have pouches, but the pouches were full of political pamphlets which the Republican leaders had to keep from the Mailmen for Bush contingent at all costs. Larry was the first to reach a kangaroo and read one of the pamphlets, whose cover announced:

PRIVATIZING THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE

A PLAN TO OUTSOURCE MAIL DELIVERY TO AUSTRALIA AND FIRE ALL AMERICAN MAILMEN


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 9:55 am
  

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After hearing this, the "Boxers for Bush" in the crowd could only wonder if they were the next group to have thier jobs outsourced to the kangaroos. Shortly after that, Janet Jackson did show up, but refused to take the stage with Bush exclaiming" I don't want ANOTHER boob on stage with me! And besides, what would John Ashcroft say about all these boobs and Bushes and Dick Cheney on the same stage? He's gunna think it's a porno convention, and not the RNC........he thinks like that you know!"

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 2 times, lastly by Larry on Sep 03, 2004 ---</FONT></center>


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 1:03 pm
  

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Before any more boobs, Bushes, or politically-driven kangaroos could be brought to the stage, the convention mercifully ended leaving our intrepid crew of Blunderites hanging in Midtown Manhattan with nothing but a bunch of stupid pamphlets to show for their efforts. It was time to call in the Blundercopters and make for the next destination, as there was much work to do befor Election Day.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 7:34 pm
  

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After the Blundercopters took off the Blunderites all let out a collective sigh..
and chilled out. Arnie noticed Ceashel leaning back in her seat looking perplexed. "Hey Shel,what gives?" he said.
"Well" she said,"what I wanna know is how did Dick and Ron get W. back in the race???" The Blunderites all looked at each other."You are so smart, Shel" said Levi. The other Blunderites nodded in agreement. "Oh, yeah" said Joe, "When all the commotion was goin' on on the stage at the Garden I went out and got a bottle of milk then went back stage pretendin' to be a delivery boy from the store. One of the gaurds yelled at me 'Heeey Joe, where you goin' with that milk in your hand...' and I said 'Mister President ordered some Goats Milk and I'm here to deliver, did't he used to be a goat herd?'. And the gaurd replyed 'Yeah, some AmerAussie dame, a coupla dam old hippies, a dam old hippie folksinger and a mini horse dressed as a skywalker hit him with some kinda micro chips and sent him off the rails (OZ for Bonkers or Nuts) and he disappeared.Dick and Don were worried that they might have done him permanent harm and he might have snapped the reins (that means died in OZ Outback talk)But after thinking about it they knew that no matter how much those Blunderites got under their skin they were true pacifists and would never use any form of violence to further their cause. Dick sent out a search party and they found him livin' in the Virginia Hills with the Waltons. They put him up in their barn with his sheep. Hell, they'd even started including him in their goodnights. "Good night Georgeboy." But he was rescued even though Grampa had tried to move him to a secret Blunder hideout when he knew Dick was commin'. Dick's people had come up with a antidote and bombarded him with chips that spewed a greenback green powder and that old tune about the stars at night shining bright.' So thats how they got him back in the race".
Once this had sunk in the Blunderites went back to formulating their next step in helpin' the country kiss W goodbye....


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 11:39 am
  

Meanwhile, the picture of Arlo on stage with his guitar (he never did get to perform anything) surrounded by kangaroos was splashed on the front page of every newspaper in the country. Arlo and the folks at Rising Son decided to quickly re-release "Bouncing Around the Room" as a 45 (remember them?) with that same picture on the sleeve. It outsold every CD in the country and became an overnight sensation, putting Arlo on the pop charts for the first time since "City of New Orleans" and causing confused teens everywhere to buy portable phonographs. (The B-side, by the way, was Joe's ode to the Channel 11 Weather Lady.)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:09 pm
  

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As confused as the teens were, it was nothing compared to the confusion the record jacket caused to the kangaroo population down under as soon as the record hit the stands. Some roos formerly in the "Boxers for Bush" crowd formed a splinter group which quickly became known as "Marsupials for Maryjane." As far as the Pittsburgh weather lady was concerned, it was reported by a reliable source that she parroted the line used by another famous female Pittsburgher and told the TV executive to
shove it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 10:13 pm
  

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I've been wanting to continue the saga but my heart isn't in it quite yet.........
I hope to get some inspiration from The Chooks.......


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