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 Post subject: WOODSTUCK 2039
PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:42 am
  

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WOODSTUCK 2039
The 70 Anniversary

Three Days of PEEce Lavatories and Mush

Luckily, all the Blunderites were still alive in 2039 and decided to make a pilgrimage to Woodstuck. Many chose to go on the Blunderbus and as they slowly drove thru the town were greeted by a crowd of very unfriendly people, wearing Gucci and Armani, and shouting "Go home you damn OLD Hippies!!! "We don't like your sort around here!!!"

Well with Arnie, Cliffite, Ceashel, and all the usual suspects on that bus you can just imagine all the mooning and finger gesturing that was going on !! Then of course there was Wyld yelling out "Were YOU here in 69!! Well I was and I'm STILL here!!! "

Others had chosen to avoid that confrontation and arrived on the Blundercopter. Now because it was painted all Psychedelic and such, everyone on the ground was sure it must be someone really famous like Arlo Guthrie.

Larry had been practising for MONTHS at home by walking down his back steps (pretending they were the Blundercopter steps) and yelling out "Lota Freaks!!!" But every time he tried it his false teeth would end up half way across his back yard!!!


So he had to be reminded as we all ascended, to keep his mouth shut.
All the people came running over all excited, but a look of disappointment soon showed on their faces and they all moved away from us there on the helipad.

The joint was really jumpin' and someone had kindly arranged for a long bench to be placed in the front row right up near the stage, on account of the infirmaries of the ageing Blunderites. It was the Group W Bench of course.

After everyone was seated an announcement came over that Country Joe and the Fish were comin' on. Well Larry started to get real excited when Joe strode out on the stage. He forgot all about his denture problem didn't he. Well Joe started yellin' "Gimme an F" and we all yelled back"FFFFFFFFFFFF!!" Then "Gimme a U!!!" "UUUUUUUUUUU!!"
Well we kept on spellin' along with Joe and I don't have to tell you what happened next, do I!!! (you try yellin out that word with false teeth that fly!!) Larry stood up and let it fly ........."FFFFFF*******!!!" and his teeth ended up half way across the stage didn't they!!

Joe was kind enough to retreve them and people passed 'em back to us. Suddenly a gleam came into Louise's eye. "Hey Lar!", she yelled into his good ear, "I've got just the thing for keepin' those darn dentures stuck for ya!" She reached into her knapsack and pulled out her trusty tube of Vegemite which she had smuggled thru the Airport despite a Vegemite sniffin' alarm which Larry himself had invented and patented 32 years before.

She had cared for aged people back in the 90's so was used to installing fase teeth. She squeezed a good amount of Vegemite in the groove in Larry's dentures then pushed 'em in good and firm.

A wondering look came over Larry's face like he was trying real hard to remember something from the past. Louise held her breath...........
"HHHMMMMMMM" said Larry, reminds me of something..but I can't quite put my finger on it. A little smile came over Louise's face.........


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:10 am
  

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I will have a comment on this after my lawyer and the office of homeland security return my phone calls.


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 Post subject: WOODSTUCK 2039
PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:45 am
  

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Location: Ocala, FL, USA
Larry, I hope your lawyer isn't Alberto G. He may "forget" your number.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:13 pm
  

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Although Alberto may have the "qualifications" to belong to a law firm with a name like mine has, I don't think the firm of "Dewey, Cheatum & Howe" would take him on as a partner.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:36 pm
  

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I thought Dewey cheatun and how was a pool player like my last name and I am.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:04 am
  

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Just as the original did, Woodstuck had a revolving stage. As it began its first revolution, Arlo Guthrie, as though drawn to a magnet or a too-often recited memory, headed straight toward the hole in back. Having heard the original story a few million times, the entire Group W Bench rose as one and rushed (hobbled to) the stage, determined to stop him or at least to cushion his fall. But fall is when Thanksgiving happens, kj waved her wand, and they all fell together into the abyss, which turned out to be full of pretty psychedelic patterns...the walls breathed...John C. hummed Wabash Cannonball through his nose...


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:58 am
  

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LARRY!! THIS IS SERIOUS!! (thank you Shel) Now BACK to the story. This IS the story board after all :wink:


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:32 pm
  

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After the nice young security people help to extricate the aging hippy hourds and the folkslinger from the great hole in the stage using ropes fashioned from dirty red bandanas and depends brand undergarments, the announcer MC guy grabbed a microphone on the stage to make a public service announcement. " Stay away from the brown vegemite, we hear it's not particulary good". With that, some people yelled from the crowd " Hey, ALL vegemite is brown!" The MC retorted " That's what I'm saying!"
Meanwhile, at the health awareness tent, a retired pharmacological chemist was trying to drum through the thick heads of the hippy contingent from Oz, that vegemite is not safe for human consumption, except perhaps in suppository form as a substitute for preparation H.
Meanwhile, back on stage, 98 year old Pete Townsend dislocated his shoulder doing his famous guitar windmill while performing " My Generation".


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 Post subject: Re: WOODSTUCK 2039
PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:46 pm
  

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louise wrote:



She had cared for aged people back in the 90's so was used to installing fase teeth. She squeezed a good amount of Vegemite in the groove in Larry's dentures then pushed 'em in good and firm.

A wondering look came over Larry's face like he was trying real hard to remember something from the past. Louise held her breath...........
"HHHMMMMMMM" said Larry, reminds me of something..but I can't quite put my finger on it. A little smile came over Louise's face.........



Larry then remembered," that's the same taste in my mouth that I had back in the early 70's......the time I did some shrooms and I thought those things in the litter box were tootsie rolls".


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 5:19 pm
  

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The aging Folkslinger and Group W Benchers managed to leave the stage area more or less intact, at least for people of their advanced years, some still humming and some attempting to remember the words to "Wabash Cannonball"--"Oh, listen to the jungle, the ripple and the whore!" "No, that's not right!" "Well then, howzit go?!" No one could remember for sure, so they gave up and attempted yodelling. No one got a hernia, but it made a few people's hearing aids and some local dogs go berserk.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:20 pm
  

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"The Jungle, the Ripple and the Whore!" exclaimed George W. Bush, who was in attendance.....for some unknown reason. " That sounds like my college days when I was an exchange student in Brazil. We got a great deal on that exchange program, the school in Brazil sent a bag of hammers to Yale as my replacement exchange student......we had the same GPA by the way"


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:18 pm
  

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( Note to readers: Louise will continue to add to this novel after she is released from The Crocodile Dundee Vegemite Abuse Clinic in Sydney.......cards and letters my be sent to her at their address........thank you)


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:10 pm
  

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I just got a report that Louise was busted with a small amount of vegemite she smuggled into the rehab clinic (details on her technique are fuzzy)....that is a bad habit!! When she was caught she was shaving her head!!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 12:18 pm
  

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For most people at the vegemite clinic, the one step program works, they just give you a taste of vegemite and you're cured......for Louise, it won't be so easy, she is enrolled in the 640 step program.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 10:02 pm
  

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Little do you know Larry.................I have been hiding from you the fact that I actually prefer Promite to Vegemite!!!!
So I am here on counter-intelligence work for the Promite People to investigate all their 640 methods to make people HATE vegemite (Hey.. I might suggest you as a poster boy for Promite!!) The Promite people are paying me well (so I might get to The Church ONE DAY)


SSSHHHHH OOOHHH someone is comming!!!!!!!

I shall return...............


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