Well I took Rocinante out for a spin..you know we was cruising along having a good time…an intelligent steed can be a lot of fun. Well Rocinante turns and says to me..Hey look over there…there is a big sign says internet infidels…lets check it out…So we go over and hang out for a bit and I am listenin’ to all the talk. So there is all these people and they are sayin’ stuff like “A Simple Proof that God Exists” or “A new Definition of Omniscience” or “Why should I be a theist”…Then they proceed to expound on well thought logical pathways that are going to revolutionize the World and change the way we see Man in relation to God (well there might have been a few ill conceived ones with stickers and thorns). I start to thinking..(I know I know, it only leads to trouble when you start thinkin’)….Anyway, I start thinkin’’’’’ I can do this’’’’’So I am lookin’ through my trunk there and I find my well thought out contrary turtle theses called “I Believe” there, you know..and I get all giddy as I got Rocinante at a gallup..I am saying stuff like Roz (that is what I call him, you know) I say Roz…I am going to turn these Infidels around….I am going to make them see the light of day….I am going to make them believe in God! But not just any God…I am going to make them believe in My God, the God of my choosing…The one that is fun to hang with and listen to some tunes and have a few beers and even eat a little cheese dip with (if I had some them Rotel Tomatoes!)…The GOD in my Mind…the God that is not gonna burn me in hell if I do something stupid (cause I am bound to do something stupid).....or as I like to say (uh hum throat clears as I am getting my deep pitched slow deliberate finger pointing into the air voice on)…FUTURE GOD…Of course Roz (who sometimes when we eat those little cactus buds and hang together I believe to be a manifestation of Future God ) just kind of laughs at me and I think he said something under his breath but I couldn’t make it out, something like…He’s a freakin’ idiot’)…. Any way I am all excited and jumping off Roz and grabbing my nails and hammer and running up the steps just like Martin Luther and I am going to bang the Future right onto that door…in big letters it said I Believe…and I write out all my well thought out arguments of logic and shit with the separation of light and dark and the time flowiin’ at the speed of light (zoom ya know)…and Future God being the God of the cosmic energy flow where creation was setting up the huge potential difference and it all began with the ceremonial throwing of the big cosmic light switch (BANG) and time sped away at the speed of light and reality equals the current of the great energy flow and life represents resistance to the energy flow (kind of like God’s giant light bulb you know…we are nothing but the big filament) I was doing the cosmic clickety clickety on the key board and laughin and stuff..all the while Roz is rollin’ his eyes and saying something like (couldn’t quite make it out but it sounded like frickin’ idiot)…You know I post it up … Ya man…A change is gonna come…gonna have Future God…the God In My Mind? Well I was expecting to change the world and they was all gonna make me the Grand Wazoo, you know. Say stuff like oooohhh Confused Okie…Here is a barrel money so you don’t have to do nothin’ ever but sit around and think great thoughts about Future God…I was thinking I will never have to go back to the Group W Bench again…I will have broken my ties and left my station behind….I was gonna be Special! Well…Time Passed (at the speed of light..zoom) and I am still sitting here saying to myself…I don’t want to go to work today as I am taking a shower and putting stuff under my arms so I don’t stink and sorta shining my shoes (you know, a paper towel and a little water followed by a little liquid vegetable oil to make em shiny…Okie’s, we can be a goofy bunch) drivin’ down the highway with Roz in my head saying over and over Frickin’ idiot….Then I was sittin’ there thinking and I looked up and there was (trumpets bump bump ba baaaahhh!!!) Future God, FUTURE GOD right there in front of me, he is like,,,…It’s OK, we will be alright…Hug break Hug Break…I am like get out of here…I don’t need your sympathy…I don’t need no sympathetic God…He is all like Oh You just Feel bad you will get over it and let’s have a beer and relax put on some tunes a little Brewer and Shipley from the Cow Palace You know Oh Mommy, I aint no commie…I believe in the bill o rights come on don’t you start a fight plea eee ez…You know he was doing the head bop and singin along with the cute God Eyes and all and I am like startin to laugh and shit. Before you know it we are just talking and stuff and I say Hey God, does future and past exist for you or is it all just one big now…he looked at me kind of surprised and I proceeded to ask, do you have to wait for somebody to write a book before you read it?….at that point of course Roz cracks up like I am a frickin’ idiot or something…but God looks at me and says….Time is the only thing that truly goes in that direction (and then he points in every direction all at once.......it was amazing ....it was like a God like miracle)…then he said…you know where it has been…but you never really know where time is going (then he does that amazing pointing in every direction all at once again)…I look at Roz and even Roz has the big eyes of amazement going on….I was just kind of stupefied you know…listenin to the music (One toke over the line sweet Jesus) and before you know it….God was gone?

So now I got this perplexing question that I can’t get out of my mind…how many ways can I point at one time?

i don't know! but i am looking right at you (or something like that) and i'm saying (sorry if i am sounding like a broken record here but), i think you presented a lot of very interesting ideas in a most engaging way!

but this...this...!?
psb said: "I was thinking I will never have to go back to the Group W Bench again…I will have broken my ties and left my station behind..."

that just sounds awful! and that is because....

i can't even give another thought.

If you let me know how many fingers you have, and if you happen to be double jointed, I'll do the math and get back to you on this one.

ten fingers and ten toes, Larry, be sure to include all the possible appendages in the calculation

and Agnes, I don't see a barrell full of money in my future but you know how that stuff makes people crazy!

All calculations will exclude any appendages that may need to be supplemented by pharmacology(little blue pills) to become effective pointers.


One more question for the calculations. How many lenses do your eyes have?

well i guess all we need now are some bells and ribbons!
(for safety sake)

I've got the answer narrowed down to one of the following:

a) 604
b) 36c
c)1969
d)14,000
e) unknown

By some strange twist of fate, all numbers that have a place in blunderlore too.

My computers and my team of math people are still on it, I'll get back with more progress reports if and when we have any more progress.

Ok, results are in. the answer is:

f)

I thought the secret to the universe was 14!

"f" is right!

we are all wasting valuable time!
we need to organize a search party

psb is missing!

It's our fault--we promised to send him Ro-Tel. The case of Ro-Tel is in our pantry and hasn't been sent yet. He's lying by the side of some un-named road, suffering from chile withdrawal. Oh, nooo......We'll send it first thing Monday--promise!

oh thank goodness...i mean, that didn't come out exactly right
thank you ceas for your reply. oh...
the chiles are on the way! oh....
thank you ceas and cliff!

there are no words...(boop!)

Some would say that it's 420!

so i had to come here and look again...
ceas,, how long fore that chile stuff kicks in you think?

I don't know, Agnes. He contacted me on the 3rd and again on the 5th--thanking us for the Ro-Tel, so he got it. Maybe he enjoyed a little too much of it; that's been known to happen to people exiled to non-chile states who suddenly have access to the mana again. It kicks in within 8-12 hours; I can tell you that for a fact.