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 Post subject: Cyberman screw up...
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 2:28 am
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
Press wrong button...thread disappear...too tired to copy back...going to bed...maybe fix tommorow.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 9:49 am
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Sep 12, 2000
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Location: New Jersey
Gee, Thanks Dave! :) I guess that's what happens when you fall asleep at the computer and your head hits the keyboard after you nod off!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:44 pm
  

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The W!zard

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From Larry:

----------------------------Cyberman-----------------------------
Chapter one: "A superhero is born."

Even as a child, Dave was fascinated with technology. When the other children used to come and knock on the door and
ask Mrs. Downin if Dave could come out and play, she would always call up to Daves room and announce that his friends
were there, but it was most often to no avail. Dave would answer his mother, and his friends with something to the likes of
"Not now, I'm splitting the atom with my erector set" or " Come back later,I've tapped into to the Pentagon computer
network with my Atari".
Daves destiny was clear and pre-ordained.
Now, as an adult, and a practicing webwizard, he had few peers in his orbit. If his world was Camelot, he was it's Merlin.

The night that was to change the life of Dave, and the rest of humanity forever, was a night not unlike any other stormy
summer night. The thunder rolled, and the lightning dashed across the sky in a blue white dance of blinding brilliance.
Dave sat at his prized Apple computer, a supercharged modified model he had practically built himself. He was oblivious to
the storm outside, and not mindfull of the fact that his surge protector was obselete, old and flawed. Dave sipped from a
bottle of Molson, as he pushed his mouse across his Spiderman mousepad, eyes and mind glued to the screen before him,
unaware of the fate that awaited him only seconds into his future. Then it happened. CRACKKKKKKK!!!!!!! A lighting
bolt of immense proportion, hurled by Zeus himself, struck the dish on the roof of Daves house.In a nanosecond, the
power of the bolt ran through daves computer connections, through his Spiderman mousepad, and then through Dave
himself. The bottle of Molson that Dave held in his other hand, exploded and melted all at once, and became as a green
mirror splattered against the wall. Dave was stunned, but he was alive. As he got up off the floor and opened another
Molson, he felt lucky, and he felt different, very different. Weird in fact. Amazingly, his computer was still intact, only his
mouse had been damaged. The power was not affected either; Dave thought that to be strange.He hooked up a spare spare
mouse, and began to surf the net. A little buzz was not going to deter Dave from his passion. He still felt strange he thought
to himself as he surfed, not bad, or hurt, but strange. He felt a strange energy, he felt as though he might even be able to
fly. Then, it happened. As Dave took a rag in hand to wipe the dust from his screen, all at once, his hand, and then his
arm, disapeared into the computer screen. Dave was shocked, amazed, but never worried. He pulled his arm out, and
thought to himself ", I always knew it was possable, Einstein proved that". But he was still amazed. He also knew that it
was a huge responsibility to be the only human being to be able to travel the world,no, to literally travel the world, via the
internet. He knew that there was equal oportunity for good or evil. But Dave was amoung other things, a Blunderite, so his
path was clear. Dave now felt the power and the responsibility of his new found status as superhero and dived head first
into his computer screen and began his quest as CYBERMAN to rid the internet, and the world of evil and injustice.
Cyberman did not have to look far during his first journey over the internet to spot his first mission, and to put his
superpowers to the test.............



[This message has been edited by Dave (edited 09-02-1999).]


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:45 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
Minor nits...it was Commodore NOT Atari (this was a big dividing line among us geeks in school)... 2nd, when at the
computer the prefered drink is Jolt or Mountain Dew (but I always thought Mountain Dew tasted like piss)... 3rd, it's a
South Park mousepad - not Spiderman.

Oh yeah, and BTW, I hate you Larry...now I've gotta read this fucking board as well!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:46 pm
  

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The W!zard

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From: Bobbi

At first Cyberman was astounded!!!! He was awash in a neverending series of zeros and ones. He had a mission firmly in
mind, and he was heading there, by golly!!! But he was distracted by the combinations of BIG transistors that were in
various configurations. Ahhh, logic gates he reasoned. {And ironically, if by fate, the name of his number one nemesis.}
He saw half-adders and full adders of 260 BIG transistors all together!!! Woweeeee!!! The zeros and ones were making
sense from this bizarre vantage point. "Yes", he thought, "100=4, 101=5, 111=7,1001=9, and 1010=10." Yes, it was
clearly the basis of his highly reveared Boolean logic!!! He loved this!!!! He was truely LIVING it!!!! He continued
FLYING down the aluminum thread toward his most important FIRST mission...........


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:47 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1057
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: mikey

......which was to calculate the square root of 10000 in binary. The discovery that it was 100 mildly surprised him. Why
would you get the same results in binary or decimal notation, he wondered. He made a mental note to check into this later,
but right now more important adventures awaited him...he had arrived at the epicenter of his new universe, the
motherboard itself!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:48 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Cheryl Harrell

Dave had become quite the computer expert over the years. He had gotten a job with the govt. & was in charge of
launching their missles by computer. If you made a move he or the govt. didn't like BOOM he'd launch a missle at you!
LOL! One day he was watching re-runs of the Simpsons when it occurred to him that he should launch missles at 2 things
he did not like. The AMERICA OFFLINE internet Co & The Microsuck Corp.

Dave stopped reading the newsgroups. He poised his hand over the launch button. BOOM! MUHAAA MICROSUCK &
AOL are gone forever, he thought with glee. He looked around & returned to his computer to see if what he'd done had
worked. He brought up his website & discovered that his message boards has been changed to threaded. Hey that's neat!
He thought. He'd always wanted new boards.

Meanwhile in Massachussetts a famous folksinger was on AOL trying to read his message boards. What are threads he
wondered? He called the AOL techs but they were clueless. Unable to figure out the boards, he returned to watching
re-runs of the old 1960's STAR TRAK. Dave sent the folksinger an e-mail about the new boards but he didn't get it. It had
vanished into thin air. Would the folksinger survive the new boards? Stay tuned for furthur updates. This has been a
broadcast of the ARLONET boadcasting system & is brought to you by our sponsor RISING SON RECORDS. LOL!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:48 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1057
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Arnie

as Cyberman (nee Dave) hurtled down towards the motherboard, he began to realize what other astounding powers he had
been bestowed with... the ability to 'see' the binary numbers in their true form and meaning, this could mean only one
thing.. he had HEX-RAY Vision!!!!! (or was it OCTO-Ray Vision???) He also noticed that he could shape his fingertips
into weird pin-shaped connecters... he looked more closely and saw he could emulate a Serial port... a Parallel port... a
USB PORT... why MY GOD!!! He could even form a FIREWIRE port!!!!!!!! Was there no END to his capabilities??????
He could plug into the newest hi-tech components, and glean everything there was from them!!! He could be PCI, he could
be SCSI, he could be T3 with a Bullet!!!!! And finally, the most amazing thing he discovered... was that he could turn his
body into a green transparent tint... and hide among other such colored objects, without being detected... yes... he had the
ability to Molsonize!!!!!
Now, Cyberman was just at the last capacitor before the motherboard, when he suddenly heard a strange and beautiful (but
hauntingly familiar) voice call out the name that was formerly his...
"Dave?... Dave?... why is there all this goddamn beer all over the floor????? DAVE?????"
It was his sweet and cheerful wife and soul-mate, Kim. KIM???? He had forgotten that he had promised her a night out at
the local Arcade! He would have to do something quickly...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:48 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1057
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Larry


.....He had to do something quickly, as not to break a promise to his wife, or to reveal his new secret to her. Secret
identities are mandatory for superheros, to protect their loved ones, and for many other reasons as well. After all, he was
no longer Dave; he was Cyberman, and his secret idendity was Dave. He had read enough over the years about people like
Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne , Peter Parker and Dr. Bruce Banner. He was well aware of the dangers of letting his secret
become common knowledge. Cyber knew that he must devise a way to carry on his duties as a superhero, as well as those
of a husband. He had seen many injustices that required his attention during his first visit to cyberspace, and devised a plan
to attend to those and his wife at the same time. Such are the duties, and the powers of Cyberman! Using his extrordinary
powers and skill, Cyberman within mere moments fashioned a holographic image of his dave, his other self. But this was
no ordinary hologram. This hologram had substance, the power of thought and speech, and to mere mortals, seemed
human in every respect. To complete the essence of what Dave was, he programed the hologram to ingest Molson, to offer
up audable rectal comments at regular intervals, and to attend to the the needs of his wife in all ways imaginable.He was not
happy about the deception, but superheros do need to pay a hefty price for their righteousness. Cyberman was now well
prepared to begin his new separate lives. As Dave in the physical world, and as Cyberman in the cyberworld. As Dave
prepared once again to enter the cyberworld as Cyberman, he approached his computer room to jump through the screen as
he had done before, and encountered a strange sight. Standing in front of his screen, was a rather large white rabbit talking
to Grace Slick. The rabbit said" I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date" To which Grace nodded and replied" Ok Bob,
see ya on the other side" . With that, they both jumped through the computer screen, and into cyberland. Cyberman Said to
himself "This is gunna be weird" and jumped in right behind them................


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:49 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1057
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Bobbi

Dear reader, we were wrong, very wrong. Cyberman had a new idea pop into his conscience. On his way to the motherboard, he stopped to create a small and confusing maze for all who followed him. In this maze was........


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:50 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1057
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Cheryl Harrell

A very confusing set of threads. Click, click, click one must go to access his computerized system. The
lunderbites his loyal subjects were up in arms! Some felt strongly that their beloved system should not be
changed. After all it was too easy to use. Others thought the new system would be greatly benifit thtme
because they only used certain parts of the system & did not wonk. CYBERMAN was more than mildly
irritated. "How dare they revolt against my system. I was going to save the world", he thought. Where was
the folksinger? Conspicously abesent. Sure he was playing in foreign countries that were widely known for
their Danish buns, but he was never around when anyone needed him.

CYBERMAN sat for awhile thinking & his anger subsided. He realized there were 2 different sets of people
with 2 different needs. If only there were a compromise between the two. Something that everyone would
like. He spent long hrs. reviewing computer codes. He carefully typed in some COBOL on some old IBM
Punch cards. Altho he loved toying with the new systems of today, in his heart he had a special fondness
for old technology. He would often play his old PONG game while listening to 8-track tapes. He was much
too young to have rememebred those but the folksinger had taught him all about it. The idea hit him in a
split second! 5 lines of code! Only 5 lines & that would save the system & the world.

He was at work under his alias of Dave the mild mannered computer programer for the Goverment. He
immediately went to his changing place to put on his CYBERMAN uniform. No it wasn't a phone booth, it
was Billy Blairs porta potty. In a flashe he left suitably out fitted to save the world. He seized control of the
computer & pressed launch on the missle control & aimed a missle at the system. The 5 lines of code
appeared instantly. He checked the computer screen & was amazed! Folks could now read the new system
similar to the old system. CYBERMAN had saved the world!

Meanwhile in a cafe in Denmark, a middle aged folksinger was perusing the local paper, while eating a
Danish. Cream cheese Danish. Cup of coffee sitting on the table besides him. Cream, sugar in the coffee.
He couldn't survive without his daily cup of Java. He was immaculately dressed in a black suit & red
socks. A gentleman who looked exactly like the folksinger was roaming around Massachussetts secretly.
He was dressed just like the folksinger except that his socks were white & not red. It was an Arlo Clone!
"Heh, Heh, Heh! The folksinger doesn't know what happened while he was gone!" he thought.

In Denmark, the folksinger saw the headline in the papers, CYBERMAN SAVES THE WORLD! He
wondered what that meant & turned to the page to find out...

Meanwhile in the USA the US Goverment was very concerned because mild mannered webwizard &
computer programmer Dave was no where to be found...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:50 pm
  

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The W!zard

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: stew

Where, oh, where are they going?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 1999 7:51 pm
  

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The W!zard

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Location: Leonardtown, MD
From: Larry

Cyberman now cruised cyberspace in his new superhero cybersuit, complete with flowing cape of course.
His coat of arms, the Apple Computer logo, he wore proudly on the center of his chest. Cyberman peered
out from behind every screen he passed, searching for evil to fight and injustices to right. He did all this
searching while still keeping on eye over his shoulder, for he knew that his arch enemy and nemesis would
be searching for him. His nemesis wore a superhero-like costume too, but he was far from a superhero, and
had sold his soul to Wall street to obtain powers similar to that of Cyberman. Cyberman's arch enemy wore
his coat of arms across the center of his chest as well, a logo of flying windows. He was know simply as
the "Evil Gatekeeper". By day, the Evil Gatekeeper was the CEO of Microsoft, one of the few
anti-superheros to have a secret identity. But Cyberman would not, and could not let his personal feelings
get in the way of his duty, as much as he wanted to confront the Evil Gatekeeper and destroy his evil
empire. That, if it were ever to occur, would have to wait. Cyberman now concentrated on the duties ahead
when he heard a cry of disgust, and then a cry for help from the inside of one of the monitors he passed, he
stopped to investigate and saw.........


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 1999 7:06 pm
  

BlunderVirgin

Joined: Mar 28, 2001
Posts: 2
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer who needed help fighting off.........


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 1999 10:30 pm
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Sep 13, 2000
Posts: 8523
Location: Pixley-- Actually An Hr South of Richmond, VA
There sitting on the monitor were the words "YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT AT ALICES RESTUARANT". What's this CYBERMAN wondered? & who was that Arlo guy?


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