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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 1999 12:18 am
  

....along with a trio of what appeared to be guys in tights. Well, at least one guy in tights, maybe two, but the third definately was not. Cyberman was cautious as he approached, not knowing if they be friend or foe, if you know what I mean and I know what I mean if you know what I mean cause they could be mean if you know what I mean about them being mean, I mean, I mean I was just sittin' there on the bench....

"Hello and welcome," said the shorter guy in tights. "Who are you? We have not met yet."

Dave, summoning up all the deep, deep baritone/DJ vocal intonation he could, replied, "I am Cyberman. Who might you boys be?"

The bigger guy in tights responded, "I am Mr. Density and this is my youthful sidekick, Cubby along with Raul," pointing to the guy not in tights. "We are the defenders of all things physical. Able to recite the value of pi to the 53rd digit, more powerful than a three week old container of milk that's been left in the 96 and one half degree sunlight. Thicker than any 3 bricks you might be able to name...."

"We're just here to do good things when bad things happen," interrupted Cubby. "What's your story, Cyberman?" So Dave proceded to tell Mr. Density, Cubby and Raul how things and he came to be. And through this entire intercourse it seemed that Raul was a bit distracted. He had not, as of yet, spoken even one word or made the tiniest of sounds even. In fact he had wandered a ways away from the group looking around and about at something where nothing seemed to be.

"May I ask what, if anything, is wrong with the one you call Raul?" asked Cyberman.

"Sure," said Mr. Density, "you may ask." After about 36 1/2 seconds of extremely awkward silence Dave figured maybe Mr. Density's name was a lot more meaningful than he previously thought.

"What is wrong, if anything, with Raul?" expunged Cyberman.

"Well, you see, he's not really a superhero like you and Mr. Density and me," burbled Cubby. "He's really only a gardener and 4 times survivor. He expressed an interest in accompanying Mr. Density and myself and Mr. Density, being the big lug that he is, agreed to let him ride along. Did I get that right Mr. Density?"

"You have spoken well Cubby, for the story is quite close to exactly as you have related it. I saw in Raul the potential for serious good. His math skills are quite exceptional. Second only to my own and a far third to Cubby's." Just then Raul let out a cry that was not too unlike a yip which was not far removed from a yelp which could be interpreted as a whoop that was not to be mistaken with a exclamation of joy. And so it was. What had he found? Would Cyberman be able to help Mr. D and crew? Was diabolical evil lurking close by? For the answer to these and other questions (Where's the can opener honey?) join us next time when Cyberman says...

[This message has been edited by Ron (edited 09-10-1999).]


Last edited by Ron on Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 1999 12:41 am
  

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Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1089
Location: Ocala, FL, USA
"It's time to get into character for my alter-alter-ego, Homer the Merciless, watchdog of these forums. My first rule is there will be STRICTLY NO WONKING! Remember what happened to Bel, Al B.?"


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 1999 4:15 am
  

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Joined: Sep 13, 2000
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Location: Pixley-- Actually An Hr South of Richmond, VA
No wonking? All the people who greatly depended on him would be furious. After all he was the one who taught them all how to wonk. Thanks to him millions worldwide were wonking.

Meanwhile a longhaired folksinger is sitting in front of his computer working on a story for the newsletter he calls the ROLLING BLUNDER REVIEW. Although he was 52 yrs. of age, he looked much younger. In fact many women thought him to be extremely handsome. "If I could only get CYBERMAN to do an interview", he mused... He stared down at the ground trying to figure out how he could get CYBERMAN to do an interview. He looked down & noticed he was wearing red socks & they matched well with his black suit. He smiled with a bemused grin. Getting him for an interview wasn't gonna be easy...

Meanwhile CYBERMAN was trying to figure out how he could stop the wonking without anyone getting really upset. I mean the wonkers could get really upset if told they were no longer able to wonk... if they couldn't wonk...


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 1999 4:22 am
  

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Location: Pixley-- Actually An Hr South of Richmond, VA
The folksinger recalled the interview he had done with Homer. To say it didn't go quite well was an understatement. Right at the start of the interview Homer had demanded a box of Jelly filled donuts. He recalled Bel & Al B's letters to the editor concerning how Homer had treated them. They had not been amused. It wasn't among his better interviews. He hoped that if he were to get an interview from CYBERMAN that it would turn out better than Homers. He took off his black suit coat & hung it on the back of his chair, then pushed up the shirt sleeves of the black shirt he was wearing... It was gonna be a long nite...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 1999 11:07 pm
  

Meanwhile, on the other side of the screen, it had been what seemed like an eternity. Raul was still disconnected from the others-or seemingly so.

"Cyberman, how long do you reckon we've been here?" queried Mr. Density. "I'm rather good at numbers, but abstracts like time leave me kind of fuzzy."

"I believe we've been in this particular circuit for about 7.3 nanoseconds," replied Cyberman with amazing accuracy. "Seems like an eternity, doesn't it?"

"What are we gonna do now, Mr. Density?" asked Cubby.

Just as Mr. D was going to answer, Raul-who had been edging his way back towards the group in a rather roundabout way-interjected, "Cyberman, have you heard of the "Doomsday Engine?" This, to say the least, stunned everyone-even Cyberman who didn't know Raul as well as the other two did. Where did he come up with that one thought Cyberman. And further more should I admit to what I know. You see, Cyberman, being a defender of all things good, did know about the Doomsday Engine. In fact he had been consulted by some involved with the Engine's development many months ago as to how it might be implemented. Deciding to see just what Raul knew himself, Cyberman feigned ignorance of the DE.

"Why no, Raul. What is this thing you call the Doomsday Engine?"

Raul took a deep breath, probably one of the deepest he had taken in his life, and began. "It's a virus. Kind of a good virus as I understand it. It purposely infects a piece of original software, uh, application. It waits anywhere from 30 to 90 days after an install and then generates a new host configuration test that will pass for the legitimate owner, but fail for any illegally cracked copies of the application."

"For what reason would a manufacturer want to do this?" asked Cyberman.

"To save their very business," replied Raul, "or so I understand. You see the test sequence itself is not present in the legitimate original, so it cannot be found and bypassed by the hacker. What happens next is the Doomsday Engine begins to misdirect disk writes, slowly damaging random files. The pirate, or illegitimate user, eventually notices the damage, but has no way of knowing what did the damage or when. Once the Doomsday Engine has been activated the only solution is to reformat the affected drive."

"Clever!" exclaimed Cubby. "That way the warez sites are rendered worthless and the small software company gets a chance to survive and write more useful and better stuff for the rest of us "honest" users."

"Hmmm, that is an inrtiguing, " admitted Cyberman. "It would seem that all good people would be unafraid of the Doomsday Engine."

Suddenly two more figures appeared on the horizon at the edge of the circuit the foursome were in....


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 1999 11:42 pm
  

...a rather average sized figure and a something or other on four legs. As the twosome strode toward the foursome, the foursome wondered what the twosome were going to do-what would they say (if anything) and what would the foursome reply, then what would the twosome reply and then what would the foursome reply, then what would be the response of the twosome and then would the foursome respond or not and if they didn't what would the twosome do and if it was something bad, how would the foursome react and then what would be the twosome's reaction, but if the twosome did soemthing good, what would the foursome do in return and then....well, you get the picture. Being inside the thought processes of any being gets to be pretty much just a bunch of questions followed by more questions which are, in turn, followed by still more questions with answers sprinkled few and down the block and around the corner, down in the street. Willy and the Poor Boys are playin', singin' "Nickels can't be beat."

"Greetings and palpitations! How are you?" said the upright one of the twosome. (and now at least one question is answered eh?)

"Rowf!" said the one on four legs.

"Hello, I am Cyberman and this is Mr. Density," said Cyberman, pointing to Mr. Density, "and this is Cubby and over there is Raul. Who might you be then?"

"Ah'm Deesco Mahn and thees ees mah sidekick Wumberlog the Wonder Dog," replied Disco Man (answering yet another question-see you're getting the hang of it).

"So like where did you get the strange, but delightful, accent Disco Man?" queried Cubby, being his ever bubbly and effervecent self.

"Cubby!" commanded Mr. Density, "mind you manners!"

"That's alright," said Disco Man, "I'm hoping the guy writing this gets tired of trying to do the strange accent, as you put it Cubby. See, I think he's gotten tired already."

"By cracky, you be right!" exclaimed Cyberman, not knowing why he would use such a phrase, colorful though it may be. "So are you fighters of crime as we are?"

"Yes, I and Wumberlog look after those crash prone hard drives and software. We have heard of your talents and abilities Cyberman, but never thought that we would meet, these circuits being what they are." And so they had found common ground beef so to speak and listen in on what was transpiring in the event of an emergency. Taking this drug can have the following side effects: dry mouth, headaches, nausea, rapid heartbeat and sudden death. But little did they know that lurking somewhere outside of the circuit was an evil more evil than they would ever have expected....


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 1999 4:37 pm
  

BlunderVirgin

Joined: Aug 26, 1999
Posts: 2
Location: Hooterville, USA
It was the cadman.....spreading wonky everywhere he went. Fighting the dreaded drudgery of everyday existance with a silliness never before seen or felt in this sector of the galaxy...


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 1999 4:41 pm
  

BlunderVirgin

Joined: Nov 26, 1999
Posts: 4
Location: Aurora, IL, US
Months passed, and suddenly Cyberman realized that he had no clue who all these people were, so he leaped into a nearby screen, freeing himself. Or so he thought...

As Cyberman flew along, he found that he was brushing along fine filaments, rather like spider webbing, or... threads! As these threads clung to him, Cyberman spun, weaving the threads together. Even in the dim light, he could see mostly red and black threads, with some blue, yellow and green as well. As Cyperman burst through another screen, he realized that he was dressed in a fine tartan kilt. 'Damn threads,' he thought to himself, when suddenly, right next to him he heard...


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 1999 1:03 am
  

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Location: Pixley-- Actually An Hr South of Richmond, VA
The sound of someone playing the guitar & singing. Cyberman turned & looked & spotted a folksinger with long grayish hair, dressed in a dark black suit & black shirt, wearing wire rimmed spectacles, hindu love beads, strumming his guitar & singing. He thought the folksinger was dressed rather conservatively for someone with long hair. Cyberman had long hair too but he didn't dress conservatively like that. LOL! He fondly remembered his t-shirts he had of IRON MAIDEN the rock & roll group he enjoyed wearing. Cyberman had borrowed the kilt from a GREAT SCOT he knew over the internet. It was so nice of the SCOT to loan it to him since Superman had to borrow his CYBERMAN outfit due to Supermans Cape being in the dry cleaners. & Clark Kent was on assigment with Lois Lane & Jimmy Olsen.

He saw that a large Greyhound bus was sitting behind the folksinger. But it was not red. "I gotta pick up a can of red spray paint. That bus has GOT to be red!" he thought. But first he would have to deal with these threads. They were annoying him. "Threads, threads, I'm sick of threads" he muttered to himself...


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 1999 5:09 pm
  

BlunderVirgin

Joined: Nov 26, 1999
Posts: 4
Location: Aurora, IL, US
As Cyberman ripped the threads from him, he considered where he might find a can of red spray paint, and walked nearer the singer.

"Hey, man, got any requests?" asked the singer in a rather nasal voice.

"Um.... you know anything by Arlo Guthrie?" asked Cyberman.

Dylan's eyes squinted as he looked closely at Cyberman and he replied, "You mean like, "All Along the Watchtower"?"

"Oh! Well, no... I was thinking more along the lines of the Motorcycle Song." As he replied, Cyberman edged toward his right, approaching another screen."

"I don't sing about no pickles," responded the singer... as Cyberman burst through the new screen and headed toward...........


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 1999 11:48 pm
  

...a screen that looked remarkably like one he had preiviously been to for there was Mr. Density, Cubbie, Raul, DiscoMan and Wumberlog the Wonder Dog.

"Hey guys!" gulped Cyberman inoffensively. "Ummm, I er, ummmm, was just thinking of going to, ummm, er, to another circuit. Yeah, that's it! Another circuit is where I was thinking of going." Nervous as a dog-well you know-Cyberman was quite em-bare-assed at being in the fellow crime fighters presents and it wasn't yet Christmas for real so he couldn't be opened and there it all was, if you know what I mean, cause I know what I mean, if you know what I mean.

"Well Cyberdude that's alright," smiled Raul in an effort to put Cyberman at ease.

"Arf!" responded Wumberlog in his best suit and tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree, put in a parking lot (Ummmm-bop-bop-bop-bop).

"Not to alarm you Cyberman, but there is a growing heaviness about this circuit," opined Mr. Density, who should know about these things. "I suspect that in another 37 nanoseconds we are going to experience a cache dump that may signal the end of all data as we know it!"

"Geez, Mr. D, whattarewegonnado!" spurted Cubbie, being the impulsive sidekick of a super hero that he is.

"Cyberman, this seems to be your area of expertise. Perhaps you have a suggestion. Wumberlog is at an impasse on this one," oozed DiscoMan, knowing his faithful canine companion would be unable to figure out what the word impasse really meant.

Cyberman surveyed the circuit they were standing in and responded thoughtfully...


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 11:07 pm
  

"I am not sure, but what say we have some chocolate chip cookies and milk to clear the head and please our tum-tums?" belched Cyberman inoffensively.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:19 am
  

"Sounds like a plan to me," enthused Cubby. "Are these chocolate chip cookies made with Willy WONKA chocolate?"

"No wonking aloud and let that be an end to it!" exclaimed Cyberman. He had remembered something from the distant past that had beckoned. No longer nervous as a dog - well, you know - he asked to be excused.

"If you'll excuse me I need to find a different circuit. There is something a foot and hand and arm and a leg. You can come along if you like, but be prepared for anything," he warned ominously.


Last edited by Ron on Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:41 am
  

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Joined: Sep 15, 1999
Posts: 7479
larry says there is a party at ron's house!

(well, not in those words)


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:07 pm
  

(Just doing my part to add "to the online novel.")


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