<I>Bill and I returned to the station to file a report when the desk sergeant told us that the caper had been solved. When we asked how, he said, "Somebody replied to your thread on Arlonet and provided this link. All you had to do was wait for a reply. You didn't have to rough up store clerks and shoot at hippies."

Bill and I headed back to the Harrell home in our car. Bill said, "What a party-pooper to reply to that thread so quickly! That kills this story-line."

"It sure does," I said. "Killed it before it could get any kind of momentum."

"Well, that's the breaks sometimes when you try to write a comic piece. Somebody can always louse it up for you."

"Steve Martin said, 'Comedy is not pretty.'"

"Hemingway said, 'Writing well is hell.'"

"Hemingway was a drunk who also said that he blew up bridges in the Spanish Civil War and made love to queens. None of it was true."

"Can't trust anybody with a beard."</I>

THE STORY YOU HAVE JUST READ IS TRUE. THE NAMES WERE CHANGED BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW THE REAL ONES.

(Edited to fix link.)

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 2 times, lastly by P. Pittsburgh Joe on May 01, 2005 ---</FONT></center>

What did you do after you fixed the link?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by P. Pittsburgh Joe:


(Edited to fix link.)

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 2 times, lastly by P. Pittsburgh Joe on May 01, 2005 ---</FONT></center><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goofus:

What did you do after you fixed the link?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I ate a big spaghetti dinner, washed teh dishes, made Monday's lunch, put out my clothes for Monday, watched Sunday Night Baseball, checked my email, & went to bed.

Louise read Joe's latest entry thinking maybe he would help end her writers block that had been a problem since the trauma of the Nov. election result. (she also thought Uh Oh... will this mean more waking at 4 A.M. and not being able to go back to sleep because of the formulating?)

When she saw Ukulele she had immediately thouught of Tiny Tim (and Cliffite) Maybe if he gotten Louise on the case, (instead of blowing Tims brains out) she could have convinced Cliffite to offer to restring Tim's Ukulele in return for the chords to Ukulele Lady. But of course the party pooper had also replied and blown Joe's plans.
Louise was not surprised that Joe's evening ritual is similar to hers. She cooks dinner but doesn't do the dishes (John does them),
she makes her lunch and lays out her clothes
for work the next day, to save time in the morning. But she checks her e-mails and The Bench when she gets home at 4 P.M. cos it's 2 A.M. that same morning eastern states time and she can read what's been posted the evening before there and she gets to be first
to read stuff (like the Harpersville Massacree etc.)

Bill and Joe were on their way to Cheryl's place when the radio crackled and they heard the sergeant say."Get back to the station right away....there's somethin' goin' down.....and get Louise on the Case this time,we don't need anymore shootins'!".

Bein as it was a day off for her, Louise had gone on-line a little earlier cos she was expecting her friend Wayne, The Farrier (father of Rebel.......remember Rebel? back earlier in this story Louise mentioned how Rebel was riding for OZ in The Eventing, in the Olympics. She came 11th overall) to arrive around four to trim her horses feet.

Well of course Wayne was early wasn't he.......... so Louise had to get off line just as she was gettin' into posting on The Bench. As she waved goodbye to Wayne she heard the phone ringin' and ran to the house...it's a long way to the house from the barn so she was puffing by the time she picked up the phone...
"Louise! Joe here!"...."Hi Joe!" she said while trying to catch her breath......
"Hope I didn't interupt anything" said Joe.
"No, just got in from the barn" replied Louise, "What's up?"
"We need your help on a case.......I'll send the Blundercopter down to pick you up..Oh and you better pick Cliffite and Ceashel up from Texas on the way, this new case could involve more stringed instruments, and also, Ceashel's Boy Scout knowledge could be invaluable to us!"

"So, what's the Poop on this one Joe?" asked Louise....................
"Well" said Joe, "seems that there has actually been a leak from the HOUSE that while Arlo was held captive all that time, he was put in a trance and actually laid some tracks for the 32cents album!"

"NO!!" cried Louise! "I don't believe it!"
"Well that's what we gotta figure out" replied Joe.
"The stool pigeon wouldn't reveal all the details as she fears for her life but she has given details of a code which will lead us to the truth.............it's called 'The Dylan Code' and will take us right back through the history of folk\rock\protest music.... The only key to the code is a guitar on which the strings have been tuned so when certain chords are played we will hear parts of songs of the past 40 years which will form a message to start us on the quest for "The Dylan Code"............

"OK Joe I'll get onto Ceashel and Cliffite and pack my bags right away,over and out"...............

(you gotta give me a break Joe,this was off the cuff, no formulating,but thanks for breaking my writers block!)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by louise:

"So, what's the Poop on this one Joe?" asked Louise....................
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Little did Louise realize what danger she would be in for uttering those fateful words, for less than 24 hours before (except that it was really 15 hours behind and spring instead of fall), the Seeger piece of the code had been revealed to those who could decipher it, hidden within the rainbow-silvery surface of the FolkUke see-dee.

On the other side of the world (turn the globe upside down, give it half-a-spin), Larry, thanks to Irvana, had read the see-dee debut notice. He jumped up from a pile of sewing machine parts and cried, "If Sh*t really does make the flowers grow, why isn't the whitehouse overgrown with daisies?" Linda smiled and replied, "I have no idea, but if you wipe your oily hands on your pants one more time, you'll be pushing those daisies up."

After they kissed and made up, Larry raced to get oneline, to warn the wacko assemblage at Cheryl and Mike's house. Meanwhile, the BlunderCopter had picked up tbe Texas contingent and abducted Sherry and Ken and a basket of cookies from Lake Chuck. Jay, spraying chonklit chips everywhere, yelled to Louise, "Shouldn't we be flying lower to avoid Homeland Security radar?" Weezy cackled at that (having taken lessons from the chooks) and said, "Those bozos won't see us. We've upgraded OUR security--check out the new look. Lo! and behold! The Blundercopter was green! Louise batted her eyes and said, "Between taking classes and working and fishing, John and I concocted a special Oz organic celery-juice compound that turns away radar and bends time just a little. That's how we got here so quickly."

Larry and Linda's car screeched up to Cheryl's house just as the Blundercopter landed in the backyard. Louise, knowing time was of the essence, ran straight into the kitchen and before Cheryl could blink, was rummaging in the fridge. "Where's the fridgin' Swiss cheese?" Louise screamed. "Well, we don't have any Swiss cheese because we're both diabetic and last week when we went to the doctor to see if our blood sugar was okay, the doctor said that Swiss cheese is too high in fat and besides we don't eat any cheese except American because you know about those people in Europe and besides it costs too much and we're trying to clean out the fridge so we can go to Ohio and see my cousins before our next Arlo gig ... isn't he just so cute!!!! ... and ...." Louise grabbed Cheryl's keys, raced to the car, then reached in her pocket, pulled out a vial of vile green liquid, and flung it all over Cheryl's car. Before Cheryl could blink, Louise was back with the Swiss cheese as well as some turkey, ham, and roast beef. Sherry, always on top of the situation, began flinging all the Blunderites' tailgates open, while Ken set up his boombox and pulled out a suitcase with 1,332 folk and blues CDs and Jay ran to the Blundercopter for the chili and basket of cookies. They knew that Swiss cheese readings only work at a tailgate.

Baldwinville, down in South Carolina, was trying to get on Blunderchat, but the Clam was having none of it, so he wandered over to MooseFriends, and was startled to see that there was a general alarm for everyone, but especially Sue, to get to Cheryl's as soon as they could: "We need the all parts of the braincell that may have broken off and stayed with you when it left!!!" The message didn't mention, as you never know who may be lurking on the boards, that Sue was needed especially because the code seemed to have something to do with flowers. Baldwinville, knowing that he had the braincell that week, grabbed an apple pie and hit the road for Viginia ...

Larry, the de facto leader of the Blunderites, began to call the meeting of Blunderites to order in the Harrell household. They were rowdy and inattentive, having been stuck in this thread for several months now, until Larry mentioned something about chocolate and cookies and they all began to pay attention.

"We've gotta plan ahead," said Larry. "When we unlock the secret chord, it has to be played perfectly. We can't take a chance on somebody striking a bum note or not fretting properly. It's gotta be a serious, professional musician. Any suggestions?"

"More cookies!" came a voice from the back of the room.

Just then Mike Nesmith stood up. "I'm a serious musician!" he said. "I should play the chord."

"You were a TV sitcom character," said Joe. "We need a serious musician. Thanks anyway."

"I am a serious musician!" cried Nesmith.

"Sure you are," said Joe. "Now stop wasting our time."

Nesmith, flushing, screamed, "I'll show you who's just a TV sitcom character!" With that, he swung his guitar like an ax and struck Joe viciously over the head. Joe crumpled to the floor where he lay motionless. A look of shocked remorse abruptly came to Nesmith's face. Joe Friday and Bill Gannon immediately stood on either side of him and quietly escorted him outside. As they led him to their car, the Blunderites could hear Friday say, "You have the right to remain silent..." until his voice faded into the Virginia night.

Larry walked over to Joe's still body and lifted his head up, cringed, and put it back down. Mikey could not bear to look at Joe's face; he saw Larry's horrified expression and looked down at his shoes. Larry carried Joe to the front of the assembled crowd, his knuckles white. "This guy never wanted anything for himself!" Larry said, in a high, nervous voice. "Blunderites! He didn't want anything for himself---"

Just then Joe lifted up his head and said, "For cryin' out loud, Larry, it's just a scratch on the forehead! Stop ripping off Steinbeck!"

"Well, I figured if Dylan can rip off Hemingway---"

"Never mind!" said Mikey. "I've been sitting here looking though this scrapbook. I hereby nominate Cheryl to play the chord!"

"Me?" gasped Cheryl, not quite believing.

"Don't be so modest! Look at all these press clippings from your live instrumental performance at your church! Canjo Weekly said you 'moved the audience to tears!' Dulcimer Magazine called you 'the next Joan Baez!' Folk Songs for Republicans---geez, this is the thinnest magazine I ever saw---said 'watching her tune her canjo was like watching Pavirotti clear his throat!' Here's one calling it Canjostock--"

"We get the picture," said Larry. "I second the nomination. Let's do a cheese reading, just to be sure."

Starsky And Hutch came into the room yelling "Who did this to Joe? I wanna know now!" "Alright why didn't Friday & Gannon get the perp" Starsky added as a chord sounded thoughout the room...

Bein' as Louise is a Horticulturist, not a Musician, she was surprised when all eyes in the room turned to her......"Waddaya think I am?.....some kinda Folkslinger or somethin'? Ask Jay!" (they must have been thrown by that little guitar shaped brooch she had pinned on her lapel?)

All eyes turned to Jay whose mouth was still stuffed with cookie crumbs. They waited patiently (Blundrerites are good at waiting.......especially when they live hundreds of miles from The Church OR in The Land of OZ!)

"HHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" said Jay, deep in thought, "That chord is from kd's version of Neil Young's After The Gold Rush, from Hyms of the 49th Parallel"
Louise was very impressed bein' a huge kd fan and all.
Joe face became even more contorted with pain.....bein' as he is not real fond of anybody who ever associated themselves with Crosby,Stills and Nash.

Larry had a quizzed look on his face........
"49?.......32? Just doesn't gel" he remarked while rubbing his beard.

Ceashel was deep in thought........That 'Be Prepared', knowin' how to read a compass, Boy Scout stuff she had been around for 25 years had made her a lateral thinker. She jumped to her feet and yelled "It's not a missing chord to break the Dylan Code!! It's to tell us we're missin' someone who will be vital to our mission!"

Everyone turned to her in anticipation........"Don't you get it!!! 49th Parallel??? SPARKYDON!!!! I'm gonna get Wyld on the phone and ask her to get over the Boarder and fetch him right away!"

Larry hung his head."Uh Oh" he said "I hope he's not still bummed about me not pickin' him up for the HD Walk"

"Sparks is a True Blue Blunderite!" said Goofus, "There's no way anything would stand in the way of his helping in a mission, 'specially when it comes to finding '32 Cents' tracks!".................

Cars were all a-jumble in the driveway in front of Cheryl's house and overflowing out onto the narrow street. Fearing the neighbors might be getting worried about the sudden influx of aged hippies, and knowing that Wyld was now on her way down with Sparky in yet another car, it was decided that she should spring Michael from the hospital so he could direct traffic and get all those cars parked.

Just after Wyld and Sparks arrived Joe came staggering out of the kitchen where he had gone to get a glass of milk to revive himself.
He looked as pale as a ghost and in shock. "Sit down Joe" cried Cliffite "That bump on the head must have been worse than we thought!". "No, it's not that" replied Joe, with tears in his eyes. "I just heard on the radio that my hero, Don Knotts, has passed over"
There was a gasp of disbelief from all the Blunderites. A minute of silence was observed and then everyone started telling their favourite Barney stories and laughed, 'cos that's how they knew Don would have wanted it.

So shaken was cliffite at this loss that he swore that as soon as he was back at his workshop that he would light a special candle for his fallen hero. In the loo at the shop there is a B&W 16x20 autographed, framed, photo of the mystical and magical Barney, there to watch over a pilgrimage of blunderings as they do their daily business. "Come all" said cliffite! "The shrine is open to everyone".

So this place closes down on the 24th, huh? Lotta memories here, some good, some bad. Well, Joe, let's finish this baby up once and for all....

Music blared through the room and cut through the morning sunlight that was trying to peek through the venetian blinds. It was blues, with a piercing harmonica. Joe rolled over and turned off the clock radio, then leapt up suddenly.

"WE GOTTA SAVE ARLO!" he cried. "We still have time to have an effect on the election! Where is everybody???? Where's Don Knotts?? Where's the Blundercopter??? Where---"

His wife rolled over sleppily and interrupted. "Joe, you've been dreaming. Arlo doesn't know you from the man in the moon. And a Blundercopter??? That's some sort of helicopter, I'm guessing? You're afraid of heights, remember? You won't even get on a ladder to change a light bulb!"

"So it was all a dream." said Joe wearily, looking at the familiar bedroom and rubbing his eyes. "What about the election? Kerry won?"

"No."

"No??? But how----aw, never mind. Don't even tell me."

"And Don Knotts is dead."

"Oh," said Joe.

After a pause, his wife said, "I thought you'd be sadder about that."

"They killed him when they put him on Three's Company."

It was 6:00 AM and it was time to get ready for work. Joe decided to sleep some more and then play some records. He arrived late, in time for his noon meeting.

Joe sat as his client went into a long description of some boring real estate deal. Or maybe he was starting a manufacturing company or his own private foundation. Joe wasn't really listening. Finally the client asked, "How will all this effect my tax situation?"

"I dunno," said Joe. "Let me go grab your file."

Joe left the conference room and walked down the hall, past the receptionist, through the doors to the elevators. Down he went to the lobby, through the revolving doors that emptied onto Grant Street. From there he walked along Fifth Avenue through Market Square, to Sixth Street and over the Sixth Street Bridge, renamed the Clemente Bridge.

Joe stopped when he got to PNC Park and bought a ticket for that afternoon's Pirate game. He bought a Primanti's hot sausage sandwich and settled into this seat by the first base side. The Pirates were jogging off the field and the Cardinals were jogging on. Joe had only missed the top of the first inning.

Joe bit his sandwich and peered out past the sun-splashed field into the bullpens. Joe could see the pitchers, sitting still with their arms folded, spitting sunflower seeds.

<center>THE END</center>

That was for Louise, who liked this story better than I ever did.

Ending number 2?? Thanks Joe, see you at The Wall one day???
Another new story is formulating in the early hours............................