10 min long! If you are not into heavy reading, I"m sorry...Oh yeah, Happy MLK DAY!

This is one version of the story of Danny's journey. Of course this story is also about Debe, for they are, and will continue to be, as one. A molecular mash-up, atoms mingled, as those of all true lovers.


As I focused on my memories of Danny over the years, I realized how much I'd forgotten about him. And not just about Danny, but also about Debe, and Ricki and Ed, and Grandma Denton, and even a bunch of my own history. And tiny Joyful. This, now, is our chance to take stock, to inventory. A chance to say, wait, what just happened? It's like I blinked and a lifetime raced by, as fast as that green hemi Barracuda Danny drove us around in long ago.


This story begins with our family moving to Rancho Cordova, in the summer of 1968. Setting the stage for that move, requires some recalling of those times.


It was only months after what is now referred to as the summer of love. But the world I saw was a scary place, filled with increasing violence and hate. I was 9 years old in the spring of '68. So many things were happening that I could not yet begin to understand. The horrors of war were brought into our living room, every night, on tv. Our president, had been murdered less than 4 & 1/2 years before. I was only 6 then, but I began to fear death. And the world seemed to changed.


My brother Dale and I were inspired to write a letter to Senator Robert Kennedy, asking for his help in getting his brother's birthday made a national holiday. We were so thrilled to get a letter back from the Senator. Then on March 23rd, 2 days before Debe's 14th birthday, Dale and I excitedly rode our bikes to Florin Center, a newly opened indoor mall, to see Bobby Kennedy give a speech, just a week after declaring he was running for president.


In this speech he said this was no ordinary election year. "This is a year where the effort for which we strive to succeed, must succeed. For at stake is nothing less than our national soul, and I believe the American people realize that, and seek change as well. I believe the men and women of America will win new leadership, for themselves, and for their country. And out of this effort will come the spirt of discussion and debate, of confrontation and cooperation, which will begin to bridge the gaps - of age, of belief, of religion, of race, and of all the disintegrating matters which have, in the past, so divided this country."


It was a very long time before I understood what he meant, and just how right he was. Sadly, 2 weeks after we saw Bobby speak, on April 4th, Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered. We were out shopping around for our new home as all hell broke loose in cities around our country.


Less than 2 months later, you know Bobby was murdered. I went from the highest high of hearing Bobby speak, to the lowest low, learning of his death. America was being turned inside out and me with it.


These murders set off counter waves of violence, that spread like those driven by a pebble thrown into a pond. I believe we continue to suffer, from the reverberations of these murders today. Nothing less is at stake, than our national soul, Bobby said. Then nothing less, than our national soul was slain, along with them.


My dream of healing,
is that the truth about these events becomes known. That we can then, apply to the revelation of these truths, the words of the poet Virgil, "Happy he, who was able to know the causes of things,
and who trampled beneath his feet all fears,
inexorable fate, and the roar of devouring hell."


Did I just over set that stage?


Meanwhile, back at the Ranch-
o- Cordova, we found our home, and we moved there. It felt like we'd somehow bought a bit of refuge from that frightening outside world.
A sweet refuge of open and peaceful greens, alongside the American River. My brother and I promptly, were denied full refuge of the
river itself, by our parents. They wanted, through no fault of their own, to shield us from the very sanctuary that offered
us distraction and protection. Telling us, kids drown in that river, we were forbidden from swimming there. Back then people may have said about Dale and I, that boys will be boys. I think the term used to describe kids like us today would be- free range. We were free to ride our bikes all over and to explore, as far as downtown Sacramento, Folsom lake, and even up to Placerville and Plymouth. But we were forced to hide our cut-offs in the bushes at the river. And along with them, the truth, that we were unruly boys.


Then Debe met Danny and brought him into our lives. His family lived on the greenbelt along the river. With Danny growing up on the river and now guiding us, my parents soon grew more comfortable with the idea of us enjoying the river sanctuary. "Mom, we are going down to the river. Are Debe and Danny going to be there? Yep. Okay."


So there I was, seeking refuge.
Just looking for a place to hide till things got better. Guess I'm still waiting for that part. Weeks after we moved, I was out there riding my bike and I came across this boat being built in the green-belt there, between the river and the houses. This was amazing to me. This was a very big boat. I passed by it many times before I got the chance to talk to the people who lived in the house nearby, the people who were building this boat.


Time passed, and that frame I first saw eventually became a beautiful mono-hulled, farrow cement sailboat named Whimsey. And the folks I saw building her, became Pa, and Ma, and Danny, and Grandma, and eventually part of my family. And years later, a time came when I enjoyed the gentle rocking refuge of Whimsey on the waters of the Pacific.

After a couple of years of free-ranging, river running, biking all over, I joined the local cross-country team. Organized running, with a purpose! We ran up and down those river trails nearly every single day. Often I'd proudly run up to Whimsey with all my teammates in tow and we'd check out the progress made on her.


Then Danny enlisted in the Marines, and went to Vietnam. He owned a blue Kawasaki 500 Mach III then, and left it at our house while he was gone. And with that, Dale and I were given another rule we failed to keep.


Danny returned from that war, with stories joyful and tragic. Stories both of incomparable beauty and gripping violence. They say war changes people. Any changes that may, or may not have occurred, clearly did not involve the love Deb and Dan had for each other. Their love for each other survived the challenge of being apart. Soon they were married and have been together ever since.


Now that you've heard this story about Danny's journey into my life, let me talk about what kind of person he was. I see Danny as a man of great courage. To explain this, I'll use the words of the Greek philosopher Epicurus, whose beliefs form the basis for modern science. He said that nothing should be believed, except that which was tested through direct observation and logical deduction.


The purpose of Epicurus' study of philosophy was to attain the happy, tranquil life, characterized by peace and freedom from fear, the absence of pain, and by living a self sufficient life surrounded by friends. Sounds a lot like Debe and Dan, right?


Epicurus promoted the principle that nothing comes into being from nothing, or perishes into nothing. That the world, and every object in the universe, was formed from matter that previously existed. That never ending atoms are bound only by the laws of physics.


He also pointed out that some atoms are observed behaving a bit erratically. This explains dropped mobile calls and other electronic glitches.


Epicurus said of our fear of death, that it is irrational to fear an event, if when that event occurs we are not in existence, and since when death occurs, we are not, and when we are, death is not, then it is irrational to fear death. One might just as well fear birth.


Epicurus went on to say that you don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop courage by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. And the greater the difficulty, the greater the glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.


Danny survived his service in war. He challenged the adversity of piloting Whimsey in the Pacific. He survived working on nuclear subs. He challenged the adversity of back surgery. He survived cancer surgery. Agent Orange. He survived all this and much more. He was blessed with 40 years of marriage.


He was a man of courage. We are left hoping to find the courage he possessed to challenge both our personal adversities and those of his passing from our lives.

Thanks for sharing your story Doug, which, like all good stories, encompasses the stories of many others as well. Epicurus has always been a great man to me, as are all those whose genius is way ahead of their times. His early scientific work, along with that of Lucretius (De Rerum Natura), theorized the nature of atomic and sub-atomic particles and their intricate roles in the fundamental existence and behavior of matter way before their existence could be observed and measured.

Thanks for the memories!

So sorry to hear about him. Neat story. He sounds like a nice and interesting person. RIP.

The sting of death is heartfelt -memories bring resurrection. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for the kind words all.

Kevin, as usual you are spot on my brother. And Knew it way before me. A loving family nickname for me has long been, "Doug The Last." It was of Lucretius and his work, "On The Nature Of Things" that Virgil wrote his poem of love and praise for.

See you down the road.