In Dallas, years ago, a radio station had commercials for "Heinie Wine," the only wine that came in six packs. It was bottled by the Heinie brothers, Thor and Big Red. Their slogan was "have you had your Heinie today?" Many variations--all funny.

I remember that, Pamram; there were "Bumper" stickers all over the freeways in Dallas with "I love (heart) Heinie" on them. Hmmmmm......

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The Pause of Mr. Claus. I just recently got my first copy of the "Arlo" record (been on a vinyl kick lately) and as I was hanging out having a listen, this song came on and had me laughing the entire time.

Ters, so definately a great listen..Maybe one of AG's most under-rated work ever..Have fun, wearing out the grooves....I know it's one of my personnel favorites!!!!<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

They used to do the Heine Winery commercials in Washington DC, too, back in the early 80's. I remember those. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15> Grab a heine, indeed.

Also: another great deer deterrent (when they don't jump into the side of your car from behind a row of trees so there's nothing you can do about it because you don't see the darn thing until after it hits you) is to honk your horn. That gets 'em out of the road and fast, lights or no lights.
I'm pretty sure the one I hit was either being chased or was determined to commit suicide, because there wasn't anything I could have done to avoid hitting it, and at least it did die instantly. However, being as that there's several deer crossings near where I live, and I do usually manage to get them out of the way, I can attest to the efficacy of honking. Usually.

You know, I'm not so sure about the whole honking thing. I live in an area loaded with deer and they don't seem at all phased by my car horn - this could be because I drive a saturn and it doesn't really sound like much of anything to be fearful, or even curious of - but all the same, I don't have luck with that tactic. But hey, I say if it works for you, go with it. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

rbrown, I have to agree with you about this being a very underrated album. It's fantastic. Every song on it is great! I just started listening to records again and really, I like them a lot more. CDs might be more convenient, but you definitely lose something in them. Sorry, I think I went a little of topic there.

Ters, this is a serious infraction. As you may have noticed, no one ever goes off topic around here. Since this is a first, it'll take some time to decide how to deal with you. We wouldn't want it to happen again. Nunh-unh. Terrible. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself, slipping up like that. Sheesh. Young people these days. Harrumph.

Now then. To get back to the original topic of htis thread. (Ehem) I dunno: the horn thing always works for me. When I get a chance to use it, that is. Maybe your deer are hard of hearing?

My one and only (so far) deer collision was also a case of the deer hitting ME--took off my side-view mirror and cracked my side panel. Since I also drive a Saturn, which is made of plastic, the deer did not die, at least not immediately. It bounded off into the woods. I had two bound across the road RIGHT in front of my car this morning as a matter of fact. If they would just stop, look and listen ....

"Stupid things that tickle your funny bone!" is now devoted to deer collisions. Where do you think things will go from here?

I've been in 2 deer wrecks. The first one was when Mike was diring yrs ago on Route 5 in Charles City county a buck came out of nowhere no time to stop. Derr goes one way, head the other way. Yikes. We were fine but not Mikes T-Bird. We made it okay to Mikes brothers house...

Deer wreck #2 was one Christmas Eve some yrs back when we were riding with my parents to view Christmas lights out on Route 10. Deer came out of nowhere into my Moms car. I thought we were all toast & immediatly started praying outload. We were fine but for awhile after that my mom was afraid to go out at nite. So I hold my breath when driving in deer infested areas... I don't wanna meet Bambi...

Btw, many yrs ago when I was young I had a pet deer named Bambi. She was so sweet. Sadly she died. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/frown.gif" width=15 height=15> They are great pets but I don't wanna meet them on the highway...

We can include deer in this topic of "stupid things that tickle your funny bone"! I mean we are blunderites! For example:

One of the best short films in the history of cinema: "Bambi vs. Godzilla"!

Really stupid thing that tickled my funny bone years ago:
Comedian Stephan Wright, with his trademark deadpan delivery explaining " I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifer, I wasn't sure what to do, so I put them both in the same room and let THEM fight it out". (This had me laughing so hard the first time I heard it I had sore diaphram muscles the next day)

Oh thank God others noticed the weirdness of the topic leap, I was thinking it was that acid I took back in the 60's.

speaking of funny things and acid, I was stoned once and got into a fight with this redneck guy, he would hit me as hard as he could and I laughed at him, it was so funny to feel his fist in my belly, I just had to laugh, anyway after about three hits, the guy got pissed off at me laughing at him and stopped the fight, I never even had to hit back, afterwards we became friends but he was always a little afraid of me because I could take his best hits and just laugh at him, I guess a high tolerance of pain and a little lsd works wonders.

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I think the stupidest thing I ever heard that made me laugh, and still does, was when Jason Priestley guest hosted on SNL and during a Q&A session Rob Schneider asked him if he was any relation to Elvis Priestley.

There was a letter that was making the rounds of the Internet a couple of years back that got to that funny bone thing of mine. I wish I'd printed out a copy while I had it. Supposedly it was originally printed in the Letters to the Editor section of the London Times ... It was sent to the management of a hotel in London, written by a beleaguered guest who had the temerity to make a seemingly simple request -- as I recall, he either wanted a large bar of soap, or had asked that housekeeping refrain from leaving him the tiny bars of soap because he had a larger bar of his own. Whatever it was, the situation escalated completely out of control, and by the time he wrote this particular letter (in a tone as polite and timid as only an Englishman can muster) his room had been entirely overrun by the tiny soap bars that housekeeping was convinced he wanted. It was a blow-by-blow account of the of the correspondence (and the results thereof) between said guest and housekeeping. You had to be there I suppose, but it had me in tears I was laughing so hard.

BTW, if anyone enjoys books that make you laugh out loud, try Gerald Durrell sometime (Lawrence Durrell's youngest brother). The first one I read had the irresistable title: "My Family and Other Animals." There's an entire series, and each one is just as funny as the last -- plus, the money you pay (if you buy them) even goes to a good cause. Gerald Durrell is/was a naturalist who has a zoo on Jersey Isle dedicated to breeding species that are in danger of becoming extinct. The books are written to support his conservation habit -- and he educates his readers about the animals while making them laugh. (Actually, Lawrence wrote some very funny books too, about his stint in the Foreign Office, but that's another post...)