Well Nathen, If it's better than the love life you have now, Go for it.

In blunderland we're always confused... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15> <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

If I recall right (which is always in doubt), Nathen, your last love was inflatable ... or was she deflated and dragged off by the giant mice??

At least when I filled her with air, she was real, but as you can see, no one has ever seen a Batty, and when I lay in bed at night thinking about her, I just draw a blank, now Larry, I can see in a pink tutu skating a lovly figure 8 out on the ice, but Batty, nothing,,,si what do you think?

Oh the mice have left and now there is a big rat, he broke into my bathroom and stole my soap (does that mean I no longer need to take showers?) that dirty rat.

If he stole your soap he should be a clean rat. And I certainly wouldn't want to imagine Larry in a tutu.

ROTFLMAO! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15>

Nathen, let me get this right. You live in a house where the mice were chased away by a big rat. Your soap was stolen by the rat, so you aren't going to shower any more. And you're worried about your love life? <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/eek.gif" width=15 height=15>

Well gee Pat, I don't see any problem here, I mean my dog loves me and certainly if my dog loves me an earth mother like Batty could love me as well.

Besides come spring, I will go down to the creek and wash my pants and shirt to get the winter out of them and maybe I will splash a little water on me at the same time, I mean really do we want to take this cleanliness thing too far?

but if you think it will help me win Batty's heart, I will get another cake of soap as a kid we use to make lye soap and that stuff can really clean a fellow deep down, but first shouldn't I wait to find out if there really is a Batty?

Nathen, I would suggest that you do take a bath with some of that strong lye soap, regardless of what positive or negative implications it may have for your love life.
It is apparant the fumes that are no doubt being emitted from your armpits, and your person in general, must be affecting your already limeted ability for rational and higher thought. I know that lye soap is harsh and has fumes of it's own , but it couldn't really hurt at this point.
Now, even though my existance can't be proven to you by standard scientific Tennesee means <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/confused.gif" width=15 height=22>, I strongly urge you to heed my words. I'm sure it would not be the first time somebody in the backwoods listened to the voices in their head. Remember, I'm only trying to help, and I fear that if you continue to emit these fumes, not only will your thinking become even stranger than it already is, it may just stop all together. In addition, I fear that the Office of Homeland Security may detect your fumes and declare you to be a weapon of mass destruction. This designation can seriously hinder your ability to find gainful employment, not to mention other problems.

cc: The Tooth Fairy.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Feb 22, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

I may not be to edumecated but I am not about to take advise from some guy who posts his messages while wearing a pink tutu.

Larry could be right, a fellow from the ASPCA came by today and told be I should stop sleeping with my old dog.

I says to him, hell man, that dog keeps me warm on these cold nights, why shouldn't I sleep with him?

well sir, the fellow looks me in the ey and says, "cause you make the dog smell bad"

Yer indeed, Larry just might be right about this.

Stickman or Stinkman?? This is the question.
Can one man do or be both???

I am most interested in the conclusion here, as whether or not I am real is a question I have been grappling with for many years. There have been moments (childbirth comes to mind) when I was almost certain I was real, but more often I suspect I am just a character in an unusually badly written novel.
Judging by my past performance, bathing is probably not a major issue for Nathen in winning my heart, if indeed I am real and have a heart.
Nathen, ask yourself these questions:
Are you an immature pea-brain with an enormous ego?
Do you have substance abuse problems?
Do you live below the Federal Poverty Level?
Do you consistantly blame your partner for any and all problems that arise in your life?
Are you planning to become a Rock Star soon in spite of having no talent?
If you can answer YES to these questions, then you fit the profile and we may have a future! If I'm real, that is.

Batty, I'm sure Nathen can answer yes to at least a couple of those and I'm sure he can work on others. Plus he probably has other qualities that you haven't even thought of yet. I say, life's too short to keep on making the same mistakes over and over when there are so many new mistakes to make. I say go for it! Blunderites in love is a beautiful thing. I don't know if we're real, but remember the old saying, "Reality is a crutch."

Looks like your a shoo in Nathen.