The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning

about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted

disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous

and high risk behavior. The disease is called

Gonorrhea Lecthim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been

screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft

administration for the past 4 years, and failing to

have taken adequate measures to protect themselves.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with

Gonorrhea lecthim include: Antisocial personality

disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a

messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability

to incorporate new information into a rigid idée

fixee; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility

for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical,

all-or nothing thinking.

This epidemic is out of control. MMWR reports it has

already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000

Americans. Excessive exposure to trailer parks,

country gospel music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation

are thought to be contributing factors. New CDC

Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to

research into the disease after determining the

disease is incurable and is merely God's will.

Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have

natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief, but

exciting life right after the rapture begins and our

afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal

reward. Godlessness has its rewards.