Shel do you mean those wirey silver witches hairs that start popping outta our chins after menopause. Heck!! IF thats all it takes to be the middle half I'm gonna stop pluckin' 'em out!!

How can I not be OLD enough ? (or is that too YOUNG, but thanks Shel)... The Front Half is 50, I'm 52 and the Back Half is 53......so I really am stuck in the middle.

Tho after July 17 th, the Backhalf and I will be the same age 'til November 16th.....does that matter?

"Greybeards" . . . now there's an interesting thought . . . are there any young people over at Arlonet . . .are there any young people who even ever heard of Arlonet, yet even heard of Arlo . . . Thank God and ALL you Arlo fans over at youtube.com, who had the wisdum to dump all your videos there. They even have that snot nosed kid A. Guthrie,
http://youtube.com/watch?v=g266Uwp6ZnI ,who thought he could change the world with his little (too long) songs . . . How about, speaking of songs "I Like To Stick Bush In The Middle" . . . naw . . ."I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing" is Way better . . .
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ylazkYb0_gg

Looks like the world's come full circle, but the difference is a whole lot of Greybeards . . .and hopefully a bit more wisdom

LUV 2 ALL
MAT

well geez looeez!

I'm not tryin to make you unhappy or sad or anything! I'm just pointin' out some biologicalistic "facts" about bein' half of a whole Larnie.

can you imagine what it will take to just unhook front half from back half, and then to go and insert a new middle half and reattach the whole damn thing?? Imagine the screw-ups that could occur!!
Remember, we're not only creators of the blunderite state of confusion, we're charter members!!! And larry's the governor to boot!

by combining the three halves into one huge hole, consider the cosmic celery time discontinuum that we might disrupt. (not to mention the manufacturing of a new standard for three layered chonklit cakes!)

It really could be dangerous for all points east and west, not to mention all of Canada (eh?) Just how would sparky feel if La Lournie came skatin' down the ice dressed in a pink tutu with vegemite stains on the bodice???
huh???

bet you didn't consider that at all, huh?


otherwise, i don't really have a problem... do i?

It's all LisaC's fault!

But I'm lettin' you off the hook, I know no one could ever come between you two!!!

Stop sweatin' or the Larnie suit might not fit anymore!

Now, I'll go get the mirror and start plucking!

SPAM ATTACK ~ The Mailer Demon

I love this, these Spammers are getting smarter and smarter at screwing with The Fool On The Hill. It appears that, not only are they sending an incredible amount of Spam, with an incredible amount of assorted names . . . but get this . . . one of their new names is "Mailer Demon- could not deliver" . . . How brilliant is that ! Even if you didn't send it back with "original - ASSHOLE - message" they send you their message anyway as the Mailer Demon, and if you are wondering what the hell was returned, and open it . . . they got you ! (hah!)

Have a great day . . . God blest the world(with too much smarts) . . . God bless you ALL

LUV 2 ALL
MAT

The Bergen Grass Roots .Org Massacree

(you ALL might want to imagine some Arlo type music in the background of this one)

Hi ALL,
For those of you that don’t know, other than being the Toothless, Old, Fool On The Hill, I am involved in theater production, part of which is sound reinforcement . . . Not on any large scale, mind you (discounting of course A Road Called Love) but theater, non-the-less. Last Thursday, I get a call from the Bergen Grass Roots Organization, http://www.bergengrassroots.org/ , who I’ve done work for in the past. It appears that they are having a rally down in Hackensack, NJ on Saturday, and wanted me to do sound for them . . . So we made arrangements to meet there on Friday so that I could scope out the situation. So I loaded half a ton of audio gear into the back of my red, Dodge 1500, gas pig, pickup truck along with wires, extensions, tables and all kinds of mean nasty stuff that tends to collect in a pickup truck like empty coffee cups, Mc Donald’s wrappers (not to be confused with "nappy haid ho" rappers), and uneaten stale french fries, dirty napkins,straws and various other mean nasty stuff like that.

Now friends, when I got there, there was only one or two things that I had to check out, like where they wanted the equipment, where to plug it all in, and stuff like that . . . but when I got there, there was a third possibility, that I hadn’t even counted on. It appears that this was not to be in a building, but in the parking lot of an abandoned building, and there was no place to plug in the half ton of audio gear and various other wires and stuff, which immediately presented somewhat of a problem (ya think !) . . . "Uhhh, Paul, you didn’t tell me that, there was no electric !" . . . To which Paul Eiseman, of the Bergen Grass Roots.Org, for whom I was jackassing the half a ton of audio gear and other mean, nasty stuff, to Hackensack,NJ, where this was all happenin there, responded "I told you it had to be portable" . . .and of course I came back with "It is portable, I just ported this half a ton of audio gear, along with all kinds of . . . (never mind, you get the picture) but I still need a source of power !"

So now I was faced with a situation of helping out these wonderful, Country saving, stop the war, save our boys lives, conscientious (or pro-scientious) individuals . . . or not ! And there was some other factors that I hadn’t counted upon, for when I got there Paul Eiseman pointed out the reason for the rally. It appears that they had gotten the thought of putting up gigantic billboards like you see all around, with their message on it (see ATTACH) and a wonderful idea it is ! Of course there were a few other details, he forgot to mention . . and so I asked "Do you have permission to use this property for this rally ?" . . . "No" . . . "Do you have a permit to do this rally ?" . . ."No" . . . "Do you have some friends over at the Police Officer Station Department of the wonderful city of Hackensack, NJ where this is all going to happen ?" . . . "No" . . . "OK . . . So what your telling me is, there is a good chance that the half a ton of audio gear, along with my red, Dodge 1500, gas pig, pickup truck, my good friend and helper, Joey Gulla, and me may end up in jail" . . . and he responded apprehensively with " Well, we’ve never been arrested before ! . . . Does that mean you don’t want to help us out ?" . . . and I came back with " What time do you want us to be here ?" (listen folks, if you want to stop Spam, war, oppression, killing of our youth and have Arlo and Jesus as your role models and stuff like that, you gotta step up to the line . . . sometimes over the line . . . even if it means getting your ass kicked or crucified, and ending up in jail with your buddy Joey Gulla, and a half a ton of audio gear packed into the back of a red, Dodge 15000, gas pig, pickup truck, along with all kinds of mean nasty stuff that collects in pickup trucks . . . Hey ! They don’t call me the Fool On The Hill for nuthin !) Oh yeah, I explained to my good friend, Joey the main reason I needed his help was, if we get locked up, they may put us in a cell with a seven foot gorilla named Bubba, who just might want to have his way with me (if you catch my drift !) That of course didn’t make him any more relaxed or happy about all of this, but he decided to come along, because he had nothing better to do that day anyWay

Now, I have to drive all over the glorious state of New Jersey, looking for what is known as an "Inverter" a device that converts 12 volts dc, similar to the battery that is in the engine compartment of a red, Dodge 15000, gas pig, pickup truck, into 120 volts ac, that can sufficiently run a half ton of audio gear, that can produce a volume level at a rally, that surely will draw a multitude of people . . . along with the Police Officers from the Police Officer Station in the great city of Hackensack,NJ, whose sworn duty is to uphold the Laws of this great Country of ours, and they can arrest us all, and take us back to the Police Officer Station where there will be all kinds of mass media people along with two tons of their own sound and video equipment to make sure we all get into the newspaper and TV story about the Bergen Grass Roots.Org, organization. After spending three hours and going to seven or eight stores all over North Jersey, I finally found one about 20 minutes from my home in glorious Upper Greenwood Lake, where the home of Tranquility Studios, is homed (hah !) . . . (did I mention how A. Frenda Meine’s sense of humor plays in all of this ? hah again !)

So the next morning, after having some heated discussion with my wife and other good friend Sandy about how to change the world for the better (yeah right !) . . . I stop by and pick up my good friend and helper Joey Gulla and we head off to the great town of Hackensack,NJ (who I had to, in good conscience, tell him he might end up in jail today, and he smiled, thinking I was kidding . . . he hasn't been hanging around me too long !) And when we got there at 9:00 AM, having an easy two and a half hours to set this up, we unloaded the half ton of audio gear onto the tarmac and proceed to hook it all up. Almost immediately we heard all kinds of sirens and horns heading in our direction . . . and I said to my friend Joey Gulla "Shit ! These guys are right on top of it here " . . . but they all went right on by us along with all kinds of Hackensake,NJ Fire Dept. trucks . . . and I looked at my friend Joey Gulla and said "We must be at the wrong address . . . Dam !" . . . and Joey looking disheartened and disappointed, and I replied "Just kidding Joe, this is the place, and the day is young yet and so are you ! . . But you will be a lot older and wiser when this day is over " And so after setting it all up we sat around for about 45 minutes and talked about Spam, War, drugs, oppression and the killing of our youth along with the Bible and God's sense of humor (which nobody thinks is one dam bit funny, except me !) and it became obvious to my friend Joey Gulla and Paul Eiseman, that this guy gets here Way too early so he can fill their heads with all kinds of mean, nasty, crap, that nobody is interested in, but me and A. Frenda Meine !

AnyWay, by 11:30 AM a crowed started to gather, and I mentioned to Paul Eisenmen that he should have had some folk singers here, like my friend Sandy Simon Weaver or Arlo Guthrie, who single handedly ended the Viet Nam War, and he said it was short notice, to which I volunteered to sing some anti-war songs, like Alice’s Restaurant Massacree and Cruel War Is Raging . . . but he said "Never mind, I heard you sing during the sound checks !" (dam, some people just don’t recognize great talent when they hear it ! Kinda like Simon Cowel . . and I didn't feel too good about it !) . . . So me and my good friend Joey Gulla sat back and watched the fun and waited for the Police Officers of the great town of Hackensack,NJ to arrive. And I would call my wife every 15 minutes, and tell her "This is the Bergen County Police Department, and you have to come down and bail your husband out of jail for creating a public nuisance" (which she didn’t think was too funny, I can’t imagine why ) . . . The Police never showed up, I guess they were tied up with more important things like fire and harassing people with no seat belts on, arresting people for walking across the highway and all of that other "Zero Tolerance" stuff to be bothered with the likes of us. We did have a disgruntled strong hearted, All-American Boy, anti-anti-war protester show up though, who drove right into the crowed (very slowly so he didn’t hit anyone, and make us the heroes) and got out with his Shit Sue dog (or is that Shih Tzu . . . hmmm) and began to rant and rave about we have no permission to be here, we are trespassing and better get the hell of this property before he calls the police, meanwhile his dog was lifting up its leg and peeing on everybody . . . and one of the pacifists politely mentioned to the All American Boy, "Maybe you better put your dog in your car before it runs out into the street and gets hit by a car and gets killed " to which the All American anti-anti-war protester replied "Don’t worry about my God dam dog, just get the hell off this property" . . .(where's the press when you need them !)

And all these grey beard, white haired folks, got really upset and started murmuring to each other about being locked up, and asked about this young hip-hop looking kid, with his terroist knit hat, a big insulated coat and pants with the crotch down to his knees and dragging on the ground (suspecting that he might be an undercover, covert operative from Big Brother) . . . and I told them he was my good friend Joey Gulla and was with the sound crew, . . . and they all came over, shook his hand, and told him what a great young man he was supporting the "War is over, get the hell out"’ movement by the Bergen Grass Roots.Org organization, and we all had a great time telling Joey all about Spam, war, oppression and the "Good Old Days" before the Kent State Massacree, and most of us crawled back under the rug and came to the realization that the only Way to effect a change in this Country is not from the outside in, but from the inside out . . . and it took over twenty years to get to that point. Unfortunately too many of us became corrupted along the Way with "Lust for money, the root of all evil."

And they had "Congressman Kucinich to Speak at Billboard Unveiling Saturday", along with his beautiful wife and entourage, and everyone had a good time listening and talking with him and shaking his hand, and baby and senior kissing, because that’s what you do with politicians at a rally like this . . . And since we didn’t get arrested, me and my good friend Joey Gulla, loaded the half ton of audio gear, along with even more mean nasty stuff, into the back of my red, Dodge 1500, gas pig, pickup truck, since we didn’t want to get arrested for litterin’ and end up in jail for that, considering the Zero Tolerance attitude and all that kinda stuff and headed off into the sunset, looking for a place to get lunch. And we had a great lunch at this Chinese Buffet, eating all kinds of great food, with absolutely no mean nasty wrappers (not to be confused with "napy haid ho"rappers) to store in my red, Dodge 1500, gas pig, pickup truck, and we went home to take a nap after a great un-eventful day at glorious Hackensack,NJ and the Chinese Buffet . . . Amen !

from ~ SHORT STORIES FRUM A. FRENDA MEINE
by – Mat Albano

Hey Larnie..Are you sure your front half is only 50 and your back half is only 53?? I recently saw the front page of the L.A. Times dated 6th June 1924...and there was a drawing that looked suspiciously like you. That was 83 years ago!!!!

Actually James Kennedy & his church are a part of the same Presbyterian church demonination the church we belong to & go to is a part of. Our current preacher likes Arlo & the last one before him did. Believe it or not there are some folkies in the denomination. Not all folkies are liberals lol. Haven't heard Kennedy in awhile but I always liked him...

Well, Cheryl, I guess you'll always have front-row seats and this place all to yourself when Kennedy has the rest of us in prison for what we think.

You "recently" saw a page from June 6th, 1924???

Talk about celery time!!!!


do you have any 8x10 color glossies to pass around, so I could take a peek too??
I don't understand your confusion however... 50+53 = 103, so in 1924, Larnie was at least 30!

Now, what was suspicious about the picture? Was I wearing a "shady hat", or did larry have on his Ready-to-Wear detective's mustache and pipe disguise kit? And just what is in his pocket??

i'm beginning to reconsider the prospect of allowing you to become a half of this whole thing... you may fit in all too well, but the odor of vegemite could be a show stopper ya' know!

June 6 is my birthday so maybe my dad saw that. LOL...

Actually Arnie, just between you and me, I prefer Promite. Does that make a difference???

More detail when I go back in celery time again.