As the old copy comes to an end, I offer this clean slate to our editor to print his words of wisdom, daily advise, updated center folds and all around good news.

Have at it Larry.

Larry just had to have that S

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Feb 04, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

i was gonna ask for a color comics page, but decided that the folks here are already so damn funny in black and white!

<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15>

Thanks nate, but you forgot the "s" in views.....you silly hillbilly!

Sorry Chief, just trying to get your new office up and runing, yesterday I was a dollar short so I had to leave the s off of views, but I sold some blood and went out and got it today, I hope you like it here and perhaps will get out a paper ever now and then.......color comics would be nice

ahhhhhhhhh now that the other topic is closed, this should just fill up with all the late breaking news........You Go Larry.

---Confused Gnus and Views---
"all the gnus that gives people fits"

From the Editor's desk:

To all valued readers,

It has come to our attention that some hillybilly with a handcarved walking stick and small fingers has broken into our offices and tried to rename our gnuspaper made out of electrons "Confused Gnus and Views, New and Improved". Apparently Tom Ridge was asleep at the switch.
Anyway, we still will be called "Confused Gnus and Views". The "new and improved" part is just silly. First of all, if anything, it would be "gnu and improved". But besides that obvious slip, how could anything already perfect be "improved"? As we said....silly.

We will also have available soon a gnu service called "Gnus while you snooze".
Those that care to sign up for this service will be given subliminal suggestions that will cause them to dream....or nightmare as the case may be, the days gnus.
Thank you for your support.

The Editior.

Who besides myself hear George W Bush declare that the United States was ready for the UN to offer some resolve regarding Iraq... I am uncertain as to what he said that was new, but it was a news flash none the less.

It's looking like war & that's scary... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

I feel like Bush is putting a big target right over all of America, like one of those "Kick Me" signs people try to put on your back when you're not looking. Why does he think we can/should do this alone?
Pray for peace! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Letters to the Editor:

Dear Sirs;

A bedtime story to explain why the US needs to go to Iraq:

Once upon a time some small boys were walking in a hay field when they happened upon several bee hives which the farmer had placed there.

Now one of the boys pointed out that there must be 10,000 bees in those hives and if they wanted they could sting a person to death. Another boy pointed out that the bees never bothered him any and he walked by them everyday. The first boy, little George replied, ahhh but they could attack if they wanted. The second boy, again said, but the bees have never bothered me, so little George, wanting to prove that the bees were dangerous, picked up Iraq, I mean a rock, and started banging on the side of the hive. Sure enough the bees came out and started stinging the boys. Little George was right all along, bees do sting and they will attack the boys so as a warning to others who might pass that way, Little George painted the hives orange and asked all his friends to join him in breaking up the hives to prevent in future attacks. Of course the fact that George wanted the honey has little or nothing to do with the reason for the attack, but that's another story......

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Feb 08, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

Here are some great slogans that emerged from the last march on Washington. I'm sure some of them will start to creep into the gnus...

<B>
How did our oil get under their sand?

Hans Blix -- look over here.

Let Exxon send their own troops.

Daddy, can I start the war now?

1000 points of light and one dim bulb.

Sacrifice our SUV's, not our children.

Preemptive impeachment.

Stop the Bushit.

Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld: the asses of evil.

$1 billion a day to kill people -- what a bargain.

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind (Gandhi).

Drop Bush not bombs.

I asked for universal health care and all I got was this lousy stealth
bomber.

America's problems won¹t be solved in Iraq.

War is not a family value.

Picture of the peace symbol: back by popular demand.

A picture of Bush saying "Why should I care what the American people
Think. They didn't vote for me."

One nation under surveillance.

Go Solar, not Ballistic.

Don't blame me, I voted with the majority.

Buck Fush!

War is expensive, Peace is priceless.

Read between the Pipelines

Smart weapons, Dumb president.

The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself.

How many Lives per Gallon?

Peace Takes Brains

Anything War can do, Peace can do better.

Negotiation Not Annihilation.

Another patriot for peace.

Don't Arm a Son of a Bush

Don't do it, George. Dad will still love you.

Power to the Peaceful

The last time we listened to a Bush, we wandered in the desert for 40
years.

</B>

somehow, i really like that last one personally... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/naughty.gif" width=15 height=15>

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Arnie on Feb 10, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

A Man named Nathen dies and is sent to hell. He had been a horrible man throughout life and even the devil wanted to punish him, so he puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it worse he cranks up the temperature and the humidity. "Love my kingdom!" laughs the devil.
After a couple of days the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as he looks at Nathen happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"
Nathen, smiling big, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Tennessee. Hot, humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder Nathen's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, hell is a wet, muddy mess.
Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, Nathen is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions.
The Nathen replies, "This is great! Just like April in Tennessee. It reminds me of working out in the fields with spring planting!"
The devil is now completely baffled. Angry, and desperate to make hell really hell, he tries one last ditch effort. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make Nathen unhappy, the devil checks in on the him. He is aghast at what he sees. Nathen is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero!?" screams the devil.
Jumping up and down the Nathen throws a snowball at the devil and yells,

"Hell's frozen over!!

This means that Larry has posted another copy of Confused Gnus and Views!!!"


edited because this story is too long not to screw it up a little here and there

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Feb 13, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

Cool, Nathen, u r a Nut... I like that....

Hey Bumper, good to see you, how the heck is Florida? It must be nice as you have no time for blunderland, I am thinking of getting squatter's rights on the Gnus as Larry seems to have forgotten it's here, what do you think, maybe you could be thew advice to the love lorn editor.

----Confused Gnus and Views----
** " all the guns that gives people fits"**

<FONT size="6">SNOW!</FONT s>

What else do you need to know?

In a related story:
Yellow snow replaces Mt. Dew as favorite Slurpee flavor in Tennesee area 7-11 stores.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Feb 17, 2003 ---</FONT></center>