Suit Du Jour
October 6, 2004 01:54 AM EDT

A Canadian man who interrupted an Olympic diving final wearing a tutu and tights has been sentenced to jail for five months trespassing and disturbing public order He was advertising an online gaming site, as he screamed "I love you" and then hurled himself off the springboard during a men's diving event.

Larry, have you been lending clothes to Sparky?

and where the hell are my tights!!! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/mad.gif" width=15 height=22>

<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15> you guys make my day!!

Rotfl! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15> We'll know if someone shows up at the church in tights... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15>

$100 will buy you one of the last few remaining jars of Branston Pickle.

Since the Factory burnt to the ground last month, the only place in the world that makes it, jars have been flying off the shelves. I have an unopened jar for sale, expires 06 310grms.

ANY OFFERS <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

Many of you may be unaware that the president's recommended change to the laws regarding marriage has been altered from marriage being between a man and a woman to read as being between a male and a female, this protects the president's cowboy voters.
think about it Larry it will come to you.

Hey, Beverly, I've got 2 bottles. Still plenty on the shelves here. Maybe I could buy them all up and you could be my U.K distributer. (We'll split the takings 50/50)<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/naughty.gif" width=15 height=15>

"Bring out the Branston!" <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/wink.gif" width=15 height=15>
Mine expire July '06. Hey!! That'll pay for me (and Shel & Jay of course) to follow the Folkslinger around O.Z. in August '06 during Blunder Downunder!!! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/wink.gif" width=15 height=15>

Sorry Beverly, I have some bad news. I was showing a bottle to John and it slipped out of my hand!!!!!!!! Rats!!!! there goes some of our profit!!!!!!!

the answer to today's bonus round puzzle on wheel of fortune is...

"folk hero"

how could you leave us wanting like that, pat?!!

pardon me while i take a break from the craziness...

i'm going to the garden of lights...i may set up camp...anyone who wants to come along, can...kj, you don't have to say anything, you're already going. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

a faerie and elf garden...i can't wait!

<FONT size="1">We got this via e-mail from a non-Blunderite, but hey, come on--"Joe Blundo"? Too close for coincidence!

</FONT s>
<B>CANADA BUSY SENDING BACK BUSH-DODGERS

by Joe Blundo

</B>The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

<FONT size="1">Pat, Larry: I vacillated between posting this here or on Tropical; decided it's much more "Blundery" than "Tropical." If you disagree, move it, or tell me to move it , and I will.</FONT s>

Mr. Blundo forgot to report that Halliburton was given the contract to install thousands of miles of chook wire across the formerly unprotected border between our two nations in order to keep blue-staters in.

He also failed to mention that as soon as an American expatriate finds out how long he has to wait for medical care in Canada, he usually wants to come back home real quick.

Hey!! Another way to raise money!! Rent-a-BlunderChook!!! They're Aussie born and bred but owned by an Oregon born and bred AmerAussie (so technically Blue-Staters-by-Proxy) and real good at breaking through chook wire. They'll just have to change out of their save the Turkey's/We love Arlo T-Shirts into their ES-CAPE EXPERTS T-Shirts and I could make heaps of dough from all those desperate to burst through that darn chook wire to escape from Shrubland!